It Couldn’t Please Me More

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
Herr Schultz, can I believe what I see?
Oh, but this, this is too much to accept; it's so rare, so costly, so luxurious

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
If you bought me diamonds
If you bought me pearls
If you bought me roses
Like some other gents
Might bring to other girls
It couldn't please me more
Than the gift I see
A pineapple for me

[HERR SCHULTZ]
If in your emotion
You began to sway
Went to get some air
Or grabbed a chair
To keep from fainting dead away
It couldn't please me more
Than to see you cling
To the pineapple I bring

[BOTH]
Ahhh

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow

[BOTH]
Ahhh

[HERR SCHULTZ]
It's from California

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Even so
How am I to thank you?

[SCHULTZ]
Kindly let it pass

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Would you like a slice?

[HERR SCHULTZ]
That might be nice
But frankly, it would give me gas

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Then we shall leave it here
Not to eat, but see

[BOTH]
A pineapple

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
For me

[HERR SCHULTZ]
From me

[BOTH]
Ahhh

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
But you must not bring me any more pineapples, do you hear?
It is not proper
It is a gift a young man would bring to his lady-love
Makes me blush

[HERR SCHULTZ, spoken]
But there is no-one, no-one in all of Berlin who is more deserving
If I could, I would fill your entire room with pineapples!

[HERR SCHULTZ]
A pineapple
For you

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER]
From you

[BOTH]
Ahhh
Ahhh

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
I think I will lie down for a few moments
My head is spinning

[HERR SCHULTZ, spoken]
Fraulein Schneider... good evening

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
Good evening, Herr Schultz
I am... overwhelmed