It Came to Bloody Pass

And it came to bloody pass in them days, that there went out articles from the half-masted Caesar Augustus, blast his toplights, that all the world should be taxed and ransacked. And this taxing was first made when that lily livered Cyrenius was governor of Syria, pestering the trade routes. And all the hands of them holy land went to be taxed, every one into his own port. And the Trunkmaker-like Joseph couldn't hang an arse and went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David thе wife stealer, which is callеd Bethlehem because he was of the house and lineage of David, that means he was kind of Irish and he stank of goat: to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being fat and useless. And so it be, that while they were shifting their bob back and forth, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. Alack, she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in dirty sloops, and laid him in a bilge like manger because there was no room for them at Coopers Inn