Is It...?

[Verse 1]
I’ve been realizing that the problem here is me
I’m thinking ‘bout my dad, I’m ashamed that we don’t speak
As much as I’d like to, that goes for my mom and bros also
But dedication to myself has put me at a crossroads
‘Cause I’ve been hella stingy with my time
But they’ve been adamant to text and see what’s on my mind
Like what have you been up to
And what have you been doing
All the simple shit that people talk about as humans
Guess I must be a different breed
I’m cold and tell ‘em I don’t care
But I’m expecting every single one of them to still be there
The second that I need ‘em
Man what the fuck is that
‘Cause when they need my ass, there’s no telling where I’m at
Shit, I could be at work or I could be at home
But even when at home, I can’t talk, I’m in the zone
Well sometimes it’s true, but that don’t mean it’s right
Been spending time on things instead of spending time with life
And shit, I gotta switch it, I gotta pivot
I gotta window, don’t wanna miss it
I love my kinfolk more than the mission
I really think so, but I don’t live it
I have been so, so very distant
I think it’s time I fix it
Is my biggest fear not achieving all my goals
Or is it winning everything alone
Well shit, with my arrogance it’s gotta be the latter
Climbing up the ranks can’t be the only thing that matters, shit

[Chorus]
I wanna live on the Forbes list, the Billboard charts
The box office and in your hearts
Well is gonna happen is it
That shit ain’t gon make me happy is it
I wanna be a man that I would idolize at ten
And change the world in ways that it won’t be the same again
Well is gonna happen is it
That shit ain’t gon make me happy is it

[Verse 2]
6 months later, still in the same position
I’m starting to think that this how my brain conditioned
I push everything aside for some insane ambition
This strange affliction’s only growing and there ain’t no fixing
Nah, fuck that
I’m way too hard-headed to trust that
I’m looking in the mirror asking “How did I become that”
Become this, before I see the fam, need at least one hit
If I’m losing myself then really I ain’t won shit
You hear that line before the punchline, I done cried
When Tayden told me “Hit a joint to unwind”
It’s fucked up when people like you better when you drugged up
It’s unjust, but then again should I have tried to funda-
Mentally change
Don’t think there’s any to blame
If only my brain didn’t only think of one name
And beat his ass every time that he said he would change
But reverted back to ways after working at it for days
I don’t think I’m actually sane
Swear the boy got passion for days
But he got no passion for people
He feel like attachment’s inane
But he still attacking for fame
For reasons he cannot explain
He’s leaving his heart all alone
And believing leaving it’s okay
Shit, As long as he get the plaques
As long as he get the mills
As long as he get the max
And got damn it, he will
As long as he’s been in this trap
Is he ever leaving it fulfilled
I think that I know the answer
But I’m keeping it concealed

[Chorus]
I wanna live on the Forbes list, the Billboard charts
The box office and in your hearts
Well is gonna happen is it
That shit ain’t gon make me happy is it
I wanna be a man that I would idolize at ten
And change the world in ways that it won’t be the same again
Well is gonna happen is it
That shit ain’t gon make me happy is it