Introducing John Stanley Hart

Introducing, uh, John Stanley Hart, a newspaper tycoon who's obsessed with immortality. Uh, now, Mr. Hart made his debut in a book called Ah Pook is Here. Ah Pook the Destroyer is the Mayan god of death. From time to time Mr. Hart is just a bit ashamed of being the shit he knows he is. And he makes sporadic and rather unfortunate attempts to be a nice guy. Nobody does more harm than people who feel bad about doing it. God defend us all from a difficult decision in the Pentagon... Sad poison nice guy – more poison than nice

He entered the bar with the best intentions – the world of establishing warm human relationships with the local people – who'd been up to now a bit standoffish, hmm. He walked into the bar with his fishing gear and a bit of a swagger. "Have to stand up to these people, y'know. They respect you for it." He found himself somewhat stonily received. And, turning from the bar with his mug of beer to face the room, he maladroitly snagged an old peasant in the scrotum with his fishing plug

He whipped out his switchblade with a poorly, uh, timed attempt at easy joviality. "Well, I guess we'll just have to cut the whole thing off." Turning away, he made an ineffectual gesture of a New Yorker cartoon, uh, with his knife, inadvertently blinding the proprietor's infant son. Seeing that all his friendly overtures had fallen admittedly flat, he saw fit to withdraw as unobtrusively and expeditiously as possible

Thank you...