Inner Thoughts, Pt. 1

​[Intro]
I'm up, I'm up
I'ma be honest for this track
Entirely honest
I'm trying to speak with my soul
And not my ego
I'm an asshole so I'll try at least

[Verse]
Never learned how to open up my true feelings in real life
Because, outside my family, I'll never find out what true love feels like
Maybe if my insecurities ain't eat me inside, I wouldn't be doing this
I decided for this album that I'd be true to this
Comparing my behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reels
Maybe if I would've focused on school than "she might like me"
Hate myself more than anyone else, my own harshest critic
Living without limits isn't really honest living
Always knew in mind I could do much more
Too bad society's built to tell niggas like me "fuck yours"
Insecurities too complex to jot down on the fucking paper
All the Ricks, talking shit, Dirty Sanchez, until they want some fucking favors
Always thought I'd be a Yankees S.P. winning rings and ESPYs
If he saw what I've become, maybe pops would've never left me
Juice with me, why I've been trying even harder to concentrate, shit
Tell these Caracas niggas at the traffic stops to stop the spraying
Growing more and more paranoid of my friends
I can't avoid what is meant, I'm hearing voices and shit
Hell, I'm doing this for something, even though I don't force nothing
Niggas out here will maul you to see if your wallet store something
Blank pages stacking in my thoughts
Black people blacking out due to cops
Old me is my biggest enemy
Might fuck around and try to forget on that on a one-way trip to LSD
Don't contact me on the business account unless we talking business
Talk with niggas, see if they rhymes ain't half-assed and all precision
Teeter-tottering on the edge of completely fucking losing my mind
They say I'm too tight with the homies, that's why I'm loose with the rhymes
You don't want the relationships, if all I'm doing is chasing chips
To me, commitment and true love is seen as less than hot naked chicks
Setting precedents for my niggas in VZ, thinking of running
On top of the throne, but at times, I'm thinking of jumping