Independent?

I’m supposed to thrive (I'm supposed to thrive)
Off my own device (Off my own device)
You were half of life
Letting go is only half the fight
All the pain and the strife to no avail
Go head paint it white remove the nail
I’ve forgotten how to be alone
Empathy is turning me to stone

Momma said don't you lose your heart of gold
But momma I give but they never repay the loan
The river is running low, drier than the bones
That I have come to know, please don’t let me go

I get too dependent
And start pretending
I am not defenseless
Towards unhappy endings
I was apprehensive
But gave into lust
Now where’s the incentive
To try and repress it
We both got the message
She was quick to end it
Now I’m left pretending I’m still independent

Look, It’s not a question of who is and wrong and who is right
It’s more a matter of who’s prolonging the strife, only contrite
Only feeling lonely at night
Knows that light is the only road to alright, okay alright
Wear my fucking feelings on my chest, are you not impressed
How much I invest just to repossess
I confess, I must be obsessed
You suggest I suppress it
I was fully expecting
You to do some reflecting and come right back to me next week it’s vexing
I’m venting, can’t swim while I’m digesting
Pardon my French, fuck did I do, darlin I think the problem is you
You gotta choose me or the truth if the truth is not us