In the Movies

[Verse 1]
Stella Dallas had her dreams
She would see her daughter dwell
In stately homes and palaces
Stella went to all extremes
And finally a wealthy fella
Showed at Stella Dallas's
Stella worked it pretty well
But in the last analysis
Though Stella's daughter got the swell
All Stella got was calluses

[Pre-Chorus]
It just goes to show that even though
Your family tree is bare
You still can wind up the intended of
A well-to-do millionaire
It's so true!
It's so real!
It has such universal appeal
And it proves Mr. Samuel Goldwyn
Is nobody's schlemiel

[Chorus]
If a person treads the path of sin
So her daughter can eat quail
In the movies, she's a heroine
But in Brooklyn, she go to jail
In the movies, life is finer
Life is cleaner
But in Brooklyn, it's a minor
Misdemeanor
In the movies, when a girl has come
From the wrong side of the tracks
In a week, she has a wealthy chum
Who can buy her presents at Saks
You can start with a bagel
And wind up with Conrad Nagel
On the screen
But in life you wind up
Right behind a
Pillar in the mezzanine

[Post-Chorus]
Feed the plot to the fish
Life is not like the movies make it seem
Still, we've got Dorothy Gish—
We can lean back and settle for the dream

[Bridge]
Look what's coming:
Valentino!
Valentino—
Vilma Banky—
Lots of sand and
Hanky-panky—
Ah! Ah!
Wearing a purple turban
Panting, he holds his hand out
He crushes her lips, she shivers and sighs—
But wait 'til she tries
Picking the sand out
Ah!
Hey, wake up there
Theda Bara
You're a long way
From the Sahara

[Chorus]
In the movies, you get kidnapped
By a sheik dressed in silk robes
On a sand dune built for two, you lie
While he gaily kisses your lobes
Then he murmurs, "Come, I bid you
To my tent" yet
But in real life, he says, "Did you
Pay the rent yet?"
When a girl needs male companionship
On the screen she can keep cool
She just slouches and extends her hip
While she whispers, "Kiss me, my fool!"
It's a movie tradition
But when I'm in that position
I get cramps
So I fold my tent and
Pay the rent and
Leave the vamping to the vamps

[Post-Chorus]
If you must be like them
And you're just getting up a head of steam
Never trust MGM
Keep your hips in and settle for the dream