If You’re The Promoter

(CHORUS 1)

Ya’ probably not used to a performer being so direct/
But I can’t put gas in
The tank off yo’ respect!-
You better had wrote the check! Keep the water & the soda/
I told ya’, “Make sure PEOPLE know about the show!”
If you’re the promoter-

(Verse one)

…Wanna make this message glue…Unforgettable/
Yet respectable as…Somethin’ that should be said to you-
Lessons due…Before you’re torn to smithereens for nitwit actions/
…Things to know when
Entering this business-
Fashion yourself as a professional with a credible/
History as well as a reputation that is impeccable-
Don’t be bookin’ a show if only for-dollars hard-up/
Lookin’ for dough? Get a degree, or apply for a job at Starbucks!-
…More to focus on that’s NOT
What you’re promotin’/
Best be sure to soak in knowledge on artist before approachin’-
Knowin’ I do this for a livin’ PLUS
It’s MY livelihood/
So talk to me like I’m somebody
Who MIGHT be good!-
Send me a proposal…I’ll respond upon gittin' this/
Maintain contact, even if with
Single sentences-
Sign the contract! Show can be
Low budget/
But a performance with
NO duckets? Won’t cut it!-
Don’t rely on the door to fulfill what the agreement is/
Treat me with same respect shown to those you think are geniuses-
YOUR job? Promote! Sayin’ THAT shouldn’t offend you/
Fill the venue? And we won’t have
An issue…-

(CHORUS 2)

Ya’ probably not used to a musician being so direct/
But I can’t bring groceries
Home from yo’ respect!-
You better had wrote the check! Give the booze to the openers/
I told ya’...“You’re paying for my SKILL LEVEL!”
If you’re the promoter-

(Verse 2)
…
Motivate toward makin’ sure that the show is great/
Carry it, hold it straight instead of attempting to throw ya’ weight-
Because I’m be wonderin’ how much actual pressure can yer/
Shoulders take following my reaction if my dough is late!-
...It’s not in my job description to take it lightly/
No amount of pleading or excuses can alter my psyche-
All I should have to worry about is some dope rappin’/
So don’t go gettin’ arrested on the night of the show, Captain!-
…We made a deal, & we both got
Our jobs to do/
ALWAYS do MINE, AND some, so I shouldn’t have to follow you-
And your investor around the venue askin’ the other performers/
“Do YOU know where they went?
Did YOU receive YOUR payment?!”-
Shaken, dazed in amazement when I gaze ya’ blazin’/
Stankin’ dank & tankin’ alize & engagin’ in groupie chasin’-
Sayin’ rate ain’t what you relayed to my agent in laymen statements/
I’m blamin’ YOU! NOT playin’, the remainin’ should be takin’ out ya’ anus!-
…I noticed the aroma of your
Rookie scent/
When only promo was a week-before FaceBook event-
Openers? Wack! But when not paid even THEY go nuts/
Should’ve gotten a percentage when you changed the
Date on us!-
…Flopped! But PAY ME! I don’t care what the reason is!/
Business over feelings: obvious YOU don’t believe in this!-
Lose clientele when I negative recommend you/
And IF we meet again, there WILL be an issue!-

(CHORUS 3)

Ya’ probably not used to Minnesotans being so direct/
But I can’t pay my rent on-time
With yo’ respect!-
You better had wrote the check! Take your hand off my shoulder/
I told ya’, “Don’t LIE to the artist!”
If you’re the promoter-