If You’re Not Famous at Fourteen, You’re Finished

[Bridge]
"Hello Australia, and welcome to Countdown. I'm Gavin Wood, and here's TISM!"

[Verse 1]
Some people think it's in your genes
Others find that view extreme
Either way, like an old hasbeen
You're finished now when you're fourteen
The pressure's on, you're off the pace
If agents aren't around your place
Bidding for your fresh young face
You ain't so hard to replace

[Chorus]
If you're not famous at fourteen, you're finished
If you're not famous at fourteen, you're finished

[Verse 2]
At ten, you join some theatre crew
At eight, you've been on TV too
At three, he can't sing "Beaches" through
Book that kid more Gymbaroo
There ain't no scouts from AFL
There ain't no show reel, what the hell
No TV, not even Foxtel
Some people just can't raise kids well

[Bridge]
"Hello Australia, and welcome to Countdown. I'm Gavin Wood, and here's TISM!"

[Verse 3]
It used to be at twenty-one
Then at eighteen the curtain come
But now at fourteen, look out son
That fork in your arse means you're done

[Chorus]
If you're not famous at fourteen, you're finished
If you're not famous at fourteen, you're finished
If you're not famous at fourteen
That fork in your arse means you're done
If you're not famous at fourteen, you're finished