(If U Want Free Speech) Go To Russia

This is the sheriff of Yahoo County talkin'
If you're selling smutty rap
You better start walkin'
No use suin'
No use squawkin'
The judge sez I can come in and hush ya
If u want free speech, go to Russia
Go to Russia

Now right thinkin' people are takin' a stand
We're givin' each other a he'pin' hand
Wipin' up the crap that's spread all over this land
Your rights stop where my rights crush ya
If u want free speech, go to Russia
Go to Russia

From museums to movies to record stores
We're drying' up America's sores
A mind is a terrible thing to have without doors
So don't make me come in and cuff and cuss ya
If u want free speech, better go to Russia
Go to Russia

Now what's the good of bein' fresh if you're not clean?
I'm stronger than dirt if you get my meaning
In Russia, they just abolished censorship
But hey, it's just another Communist trick
So you can rest assured they won't get ticked off
If you can talk trash about your dingus to Gorbachev

Now I can't do much about drugs and crooks
But I can sure force dirty words back into hiding
Where they belong in books
So take a not-so mean old sherrif's advice
Talk nice when you're in my jurisdiction

Avoid the friction, don't get your head bent
Forget the first amendment
After all, it was written a long time ago
And I just sent my only copy to Moscow
If you want free speech, better go to Russia

Now don't get me wrong
I'm not against rap
But every bad kid needs an occasional slap
And if there's plenty of clean art all over the map
If you make poo poo, I'm gonna come flush ya
If u want free speech, take a slow boat to Russia
Go to Russia