If Only

“The realest thoughts are the messages not sent”
He hits delete goes to preach and then nods yes
He got it! To speak to God you got to follow his signs, follow his beam / wait, doesn’t that mean / that our God’s deaf? / She looked at him like a line that she could read between a / ballerina / she smiled told him to leave it be her / pirouettes made a panorama so he could see the / destiny of a hero stepping on non-believers / while euro-stepping his demons / he told her all about it / the way he felt like a cinderblock / she’d be free without him / she picked the lock / said you’re looking at it the wrong way / you’ve been keeping me from floating away /she wrote

If Only I could just show you the world that I see / it’s full of magic it’s hidden behind the pine trees / it’s where the alcoholics go to get a water / every wallet has a dollar / even time becomes a better father / If only you could see the need in belief / then the suicide note that you wrote would be a love letter / and every time that you got stuck on the see-saw / you’d fall in love where your feet are / until the end / it would all make sense

& When it all makes sense
We don’t need to know
We could rise with the clouds
Or we could sink with the stones

He found his confidence at rock bottom / traded in all his Timbs to rock a Doc Marten / started turning his couldn’t be’s / into look at me’s / greeting every angel with the woogity woogity / woo! With the wonder of a child / Kundera’d be proud / instead of seeing 2 faces he saw the vase now / and she smiled / but he felt like it’s all fleeting / you rise and you fall and it keeps on repeating / so he wrote

If Only I knew then what I know now / then maybe I can turn every scar into a sign / and maybe I can turn every hourglass on its side / and maybe satisfaction ain’t the death of desire / but you know, the more I try to change the past / the more that I miss / the more I try to make it last / the stronger the bliss / I only I could make amends with my friends and / then put an end to the pendulum / with a pen / it would all make sense

& When it all makes sense
We don’t need to know
We could rise with the clouds
Or we could sink with the stones

If Only, if Only (x3)
If Only it all made sense

Now it’s weighing down on his conscience / she tried to tell him that dreaming is on his own time / cuz God’s watching he’s waiting for your responses / but he was stuck feigning happiness on a profile / so she wrote: Dear pessimist / stop the nonsense / you got to dig and then heaven sends / you a goldmine / cuz you wee right about something, God’s deaf / but, he’s been reading your lips this whole time