If Momma Was Married

[LOUISE, spoken]
I wish Momma would marry a plain man
So we could all be together

[LOUISE]
If Momma was married, we'd live in a house
As private as private can be
Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse
Two monkeys, one father, six turtles and me
If Momma was married

[JUNE]
If Momma was married I'd jump in the air
And give all my toe shoes to you
I'd get all those hair ribbons out of my hair
And once and for all, I'd get Momma out too
If Momma was married

[LOUISE]
Momma, get out your white dress
You've done it before—

[JUNE]
Without much success

[JUNE & LOUISE]
Momma, God speed and God bless
We're not keeping score—
What's one more or less?

Oh, Momma, say yes
And waltz down the aisle while you may

[LOUISE]
I'll gladly support you
I'll even escort you—

[JUNE]
And I'll gladly give you away

[JUNE & LOUISE]
Oh, Momma, get married today

[JUNE]
If Momma was married
There wouldn't be any more
"Let me entertain you"
"Let me make you smile"
"I will do some kicks—"

[LOUISE]
"I will do some tricks"

[JUNE, spoken]
"Sing out, Louise"

[LOUISE, spoken]
"Smile, baby"

[JUNE & LOUISE]
Momma, please take our advice
We aren't the Lunts

[JUNE]
I'm not Fanny Brice

[JUNE & LOUISE]
Momma, we'll buy you the rice
If only this once
You wouldn't think twice

It could be so nice
If Momma got married to stay

[LOUISE]
But Momma gets married—

[JUNE]
And—

[LOUISE]
Married—

[JUNE]
And—

[LOUISE]
Married—

[JUNE & LOUISE]
And never gets carried away
Oh, Momma
Oh, Momma
Oh, Momma, get married today