If I Was the Priest

[Verse 1]
There's a light on yonder mountain
And it's calling me to shine
There's a girl over by the water fountain
And she's asking to be mine
And Jesus is standing in the doorway
In a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs so fine
He says, "We need you son tonight up in Dodge City
'Cause there's just too many outlaws trying to work the same line"

[Chorus]
Now if Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
If Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys trying to work the same line

[Verse 2]
Well sweet Virgin Mary runs the Holy Grail saloon
Well for a nickel she'll give you whiskey and a personally blessed balloon
And the Holy Ghost is the host with the most, he runs the burlesque show
Where they'll let you in for free and they hit you when you go
Mary serving Mass on Sunday and she sells her body on Monday
To the bootlegger who paid the highest price
He don't know he got stuck with a loser, she's a stone junkie what's more she's a user
She's only been made once or twice by some kind of magic

[Chorus]
If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many outlaws trying to work the same line

[Verse 3]
Well things ain't been the same in heaven since Big Bad Bobby came to town
He's been known to down eleven, then ask for another round
Me I've got scabs on my knees from kneeling way too long
It's about time I played the man, took a stand where I belong
And I forget about the old friends and the old times
There's just too many new boys trying to work the same line

[Chorus]
Well if Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's just too many outlaws trying to work the same line

[Verse 4]
Well there's a light on yonder mountain
And it's calling me to shine
There's a girl over by the water fountain
She's asking to be mine
Jesus is standing in the doorway
Six gun drawn and ready to fan
Said, "We need you tonight son up in Dodge City"
Told him I was already overdue for Cheyenne

[Chorus]
If Jesus was the sheriff and I were a priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys trying to work the same line

If Jesus was the sheriff and I were a priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys trying to work the same line

[Outro]
If Jesus was the sheriff and I was a priest