If I Had (Radio Edit)

[Intro]
"Life," by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle in front of your optical to slow you down
And every time you think you've gotten past it
It's gonna come back around to tackle you to the damn ground (If I had a million...)
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies with secret identities
In disguises to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
They wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny, money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
Swearin' that they was always down
What is life? I'm tired of life

[Verse 1]
I'm tired of backstabbin'-*** snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committin' so many sins
Tired of always givin' in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never havin' any ends
Tired of havin' skinny friends hooked on crack and Mini Thins
I'm tired of this DJ playin' your **** when he spins
Tired of not havin' a deal
Tired of havin' to deal with the bull**** without grabbin' the steel
Tired of drownin' in my sorrow
Tired of havin' to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of mother******* ******** **** and dartin' off
I'm tired of jobs startin' off at $5.50
An hour, then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off
Tired of bein' fired every time I fart and cough
Tired of havin' to work as a gas station clerk
For this jerk, breathin' down my neck, drivin' me berserk
I'm tired of usin' plastic silverware
Tired of workin' at Builder's Square, tired of not bein' a millionaire

[Chorus]
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics (If I had a million dollars)
If I had a magic wand
I'd make the world suck my **** without a condom on while I'm on the john (I could set my troubles free)
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough 'cause I'd still be out robbin' armored trucks (If I had a million dollars)
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough *** for the whole world to kiss

[Verse 2]
I'm tired of bein' white trash, broke, and always poor
Tired of takin' pop bottles back to the party store
Tired of not havin' a phone
Tired of not havin' a home to have one in if I did have one on
Tired of not drivin' a BM
Tired of not workin' at GM, tired of wantin' to be him
Tired of not sleepin' without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performin' in a packed coliseum
Tired of not bein' on tour
Tired of ******* the same blonde ***** after work in the back of a Contour
I'm tired of fakin' knots with a stack of ones
Havin' a lack of funds and resortin' back to ****
Tired of bein' stared at
Tired of wearin' the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of steppin' in clubs, wearin' the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people sayin' they're tired of hearin' me rap about *****
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin' half the skill as me
Sayin' they wasn't feelin' me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
And I'm tired of radio stations tellin' fibs
Tired of JLB sayin', "Where hip-hop lives" (Where hip-hop lives)

[Chorus]
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into alcoholics (If I had a million dollars)
If I had a magic wand
I'd make the world suck my **** without a condom on while I'm on the john (I would set my troubles free)
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough 'cause I'd still be out robbin' armored trucks (If I had a million dollars)
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough *** for the whole world to kiss

[Outro]
You know what I'm sayin'?
I'm tired of all of this bull**** (If I had a million dollars)
Tellin' me to be positive, how am I 'posed to be positive
When I don't see **** positive? You know what I'm sayin'?
I rap about **** around me, **** I see
(If I had a million dollars) You know what I'm sayin'? Right now, I'm tired of everything
Tired of all this player-hatin' that's goin' on in my own city
(You could share my wealth with me) Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin'?
But hey, it's cool though
(If I had a million dollars) you know what I'm sayin'? I'm just fed up
That's my word (I could set my troubles free
If I had a million dollars)