If I Don’t Make It

Ever since I was young
There's been a cloud hanging over my head
A disease that manifests itself inside of me
A wound that I can't mend

I have never been fulfilled
A torture that keeps my smile smoldered
A fire in my life that's burning bright and it only got worse with age

I just wanna know what makes me tick
I wanna know how I got so sick
Honesty out of desperation
It's never been so hard to admit

Living ain't easy
Spent all this time in hell
Trying to figure out why I live in doubt
I'm just searching for the truth in myself

Every time I slip, I grab onto my mistakes
I never let myself forget
Like it's the end of the world
Even thought I know it doesn't mean anything

My hesitance lies in the faces of the ones who keep me alive
But still I choke, afraid to let them down if my life comes to a close

Instead, I'll dig
I will search for an answer to the ills inside my head
Unwilling to let these days be my last
I keep fighting knowing I could end up dead
If I don't make it, at least you'll have these songs