If I Die

[Sample of Marvin Gaye 'If I Should Die Tonight']
"Oh...If I should day tonight
Oh baby, though it would be far before my time
I wouldn't die blue, sugar yeah cause I known you"

[Verse One]:
I'm out here tryin' to make thing run
I didn't think about the one's I shunned to get it done son
Family and friends can't stand me again
I ain't that talkative but hand me a pen
And I'll begin, first of all
I'm doin' bad, way worse than y'all
When you up and score, hurt when you fall, end of it all
I never had a chance to ball like we supposed to
Lettin' down the people I was close to
People I owe to
And cats who was down with my old crew
And friends even got the same tattoo I do
I asked them for patience we waitin' for pay stubs
Marathon Man still drinkin' outta paper cups
Splashy, all in the mix and get it mastered
Shit faced, sippin' a Schlitz and gettin' plastered
Just playin' the role that we was casted fo'
Somethin' this big has to blow, it has to happen so

[Hook] [Lucian]:
"If I die"
Would you forgive me for how I did you wrong?
"If I die"
Would you remember me as your enemy?
"If I die"
If I died then I apologize
"If I die"
For all of the wrong that was done
With this song I would hope my apology helps, helps

[Verse Two]:
My old theme is keep me in green I keep 'em near
My apologies for my deeds I speak it clear
Somethin' held me back from my needs and that was fam
Felt God atmosphere, too shady Lucifer
Caught in the middle of a knock down brawl
Walk around cause I can't knock down walls
Get telephone calls 'bout how I'm not makin' it
My girl act like she don't like me not fakin' it
The world lacks righteousness
So drunk, many nights I missed, to get it right like this
My daughter's forehead gets kissed
Cause see she's only five turnin' six, she don't understand drama
Between me and her mama
Because I only give her three numbers, not four, no commas
No matter what, I still love her though
I gotta say it, if I died tonight she'd never know

[Hook]

[Verse Three]:
If I perish without hittin' the top like climbin' Everest
By every chick I slept with, I'd never be missed
I did 'em wrong, then I put they business in a song
Stole from 'em, told 'em how no dude would want 'em
Lied like I lay in a bed
All day playin' with they head
Give 'em some sex that keep 'em fed
I'm ashamed of the way I played the game of love
And my man's wettin' sitting at the church just sweatin'
Lookin' around, swearin' I'ma get struck down
Knowin' that I left every love I found
My mom's wasn't around, she dropped me like a shipment
Maybe that's why I got a fear of commitment
Maybe that's an excuse, probably a lame one
My father used the noose, wonder should I use the same one?

[Hook]