“If he wins twelve more matches, he’ll be upgraded to Golden King”

Hold on just one second here, David Penzer you unintelligible moronic high voiced dweeb! You know nothing about the sport of pro wrestling and you know nothing about these fine competitors coming out today. So I'm gonna do all the Jerichoholics a great favor. I'm gonna introduce all of the contestants in the cruiserweight battle royal. Let's face it, one of these fine contestants will get a chance at the cruiserweight belt. They'll never win it, but tonight you're gonna see a great match from a great competitor. Let's get down to the list here...

- Coming out first from Xochimilco, Mexico, you'll notice his hat NEVER comes off, the master of trick-track, the master of Da Funk, he is Super Calo! Look at those moves ladies and gentlemen. You got about a one in ten chance of winning, maybe.
- Next, from El Paso, Mexico, this guy used to be a great bartender, but it hasn't translated into his wrestling skills, he is the scourge of the illustrious Guerrero family, he is Chavo Guerrero Jr. maybe a two in ten chance of winning.
- Coming out next, from Mexico, this is a rags to riches story, from selling chimichangas on the streets to WCW is Ciclope!
- Then we got Damien. He can't afford a mask, he's using paint, but sooner or later he's gonna buy a mask, I'm guaranteein' you that.
- Here we go, the winner of the Lou Ferrigno look-alike-contest, this guy is also from Mexico, El Dandy.
- Coming out next is the world light featherweight pacer champion, El Grillo.
- Now this guy pulled up in a nice rusted out '68 El Camino Chevy, he's the ugliest man in our sport today, he's the illustrious Quazzy Juice Skelerra.
- A former champion in many countries, he's gonna rock rock til he drops, rock rock never stop, Marty Jannetty, ladies and gentlemen.
- Coming up next from Allentown, PA. He's a lost and lonely soul, his name is Kidman. And Kidman, I've got some Calamine lotion for you after the show!
- This guy's the true shooter of WCW, does he have a chance? No, zero chance, no way, he's Evan Karagias, ladies and gents.
- Oh yeah, straight from Minneapolis, Minnesota, I want my Loverboy tape back, Lenny Lane!
- And of course we've got Psychosis, he's got a lot of hubcaps in his collection, if you need one, he'll procure one for you after the show.
- This guy is Silver King, if he wins twelve more matches he'll be upgraded to Golden King.
- This guy is Johnny Sinjer? Johnny SSS.... Johnny Swinger? You ever heard of this guy? I haven't. Zero out of ten chance in winning! No chance.
- And last but not least, representing Villanos 1 through 62, from the Villano family, he is Villano... IV.

Those are your contestants in tonight's battle royal, I'm going in the back for a coffee cause none of these guys will never EVER beat me for my belt!"