Idler Gear

The buzzing in the trees
Made you feel less lonely
Until you thought how the cicadas had each other to sing
And you didn’t have anything

Now I know
Nothing I’ve ever done has turned out right
Nothing we’ve ever wished for came true
Nothing you’ve ever lost ever turned up again
You said it’s best
To let us pretend

The empty shells by the leaves
Made you feel less guilty
Observing motion all around you
Shadowing the idler gear
Until you thought how the cicadas only had a few days
And how much they could achieve anyway

Its body grew
The wrong way
The molting strained
Bestowed its grave
And we can’t ask the rain
Our spiracles to inundate
And long for cover when it comes
We thought we wanted what was best for us

But nothing we ever learned we used again
Nothing I ever penciled in
Could be seen underneath so many drafts of pen
I guess I could try
To write it again
And again
And again