ICE ROAD -- Chapter 3: The Island of Hailuoto

— ”Explain to me, Samuli – and please, spare me no boring detail – what was that episode with Miska about?”
Samuli was laying down on the bench at the gym, doing his reps. The bar came back up, with green discs on each end, and landed on its holder, above his head.
— What episode?
— OK, let’s go ahead and pretend there isn’t a two-ton elephant hanging on four wires from the roof.
— Huh?
— ”Tell me”, Tapani said, raising his voice, ”who the fuck was the guy that’s now laying sliced in Miska’s house?”
— ”Would you fucking relax with the voice?” Samuli got alarmed. ”There could be--”
— No, there aren’t any bugs. I scanned through the place precisely this morning. How stupid does everybody suddenly think I am?
— ”It’s not like that”, Samuli said as he sat up. ”I just--”
— It was a rhetoric question. Answer the fucking question.
— ”Some guy he knew through his fiancee...” Said Samuli as he laid back down. ”Ask him. He’ll surely know.”
He grabbed hold of the iron again. Tapani stood there for a couple of seconds, looking at Samuli as he put on his gloves. They slipped into his hands and Tapani was still looking. Samuli laid this grumpy look upon his friend; one that was enough of a... enough to let me know. Tapani walked out the door, leaving Samuli’s controlled groans of hard work to echo in the room alone.
Tapani stood in the hallway, next to a set of stairs and this elevator right next to them. Lost in thought, he had stopped walking at some point. He went back to his distorted and guilty thoughts, only to have the focus broken by the door behind him. It shut. Where he was standing was a sort of a vestibule in between three hallways that went in different directions. He headed to the left, to the lounge, the center of the sports-center.
”Alright hol’ up!” — he heard Samuli yell out behind him, before he could move. He stopped, turned to look, wary of all the possible dangers of the situ-- what?. Samuli was standing at the gym-door, a bit sweaty.
— ”I didn’t mean-- Just, please tell me what’s it about, alright?” Tapani proposed. ”Let’s not start fighting now.”
— ”I agree totally”, Samuli replied. ”Okay, well... come inside first.”
They walked in the gym, while Samuli was explaining:
— Miska killed some acquaintance of his fiancee’s. Petra had told him she’d been raped or harassed – or some shit like that – by the guy. Some sad shit, yeah, I agree.
— ”If it’s true, serves the cocksucker right” Tapani said. ”All rapists should be killed in the meanest way imaginable.”
— What do you mean if it’s true? Of course it’s true, no? Miska doesn’t really get riled up over… well okay, yes he does, But come on, it’s not like him to do any extras if there isn’t a solidified reason?
— Well, Miska’s a known dipshit. From what I’ve gathered about his woman, she seems like this innocent little lady that keeps her extra thoughts to herself and never has a bad thing to say at all, but she’s just the type of person that, behind the scenes, will do absolutely anything for attention. For drama to surround her. From what Miska’s told me, and what I had the time to witness, she’ll apply the anxiety-card, paranoia-card, fuck it, the whole deck, to duck anything even resembling responsibility, when something’s fucked up.
— ”Yeah”, Samuli said, having stopped following that oddly detailed and spicy description.
Tapani felt disappointed, left without the big reaction his analysis deserved. He stared at Samuli for a while, and saw hints of him collecting one of those what the fuck are you looking at?-looks on his face. With an unsettling whiff of panic in his voice, Tapani switched the subject.
— ”You, Miska and me are going to Hailuoto tomorrow, by the way.” He escaped.
— Huh? You don’t think we can do it anywhere else but there?
— ”What the fuck did I just say?” Tapani said with out-of-left-field anger. He quickly took off, leaving Samuli racking his brains about what just happened? Was it something I said?

THE NEXT DAY:
Tapani’s car stopped behind the traffic sings at Oulunsalo’s ferry port. Everywhere he looked, were rocks decorating the shoreline. Just a land-road in the middle of rocks, and of course, sea... Sea was everywhere. You could drive on this road through the whole town; at every point of it, there was scenery around you. Sure, it was more repetitive at some points, and it even felt long while driving along, but this... the end of the road. Just the sea surrounding you. Something came over him. He stared at a wind turbine standing tall as fuck on the left. Oggling at those majestic man-made structures was all he wanted to do. Wonder what a scary job it would’ve been to put that thing up... What if it breaks and someone’s in--
— ”It’s green!” Miska suddenly yelled in anger and frustration, interrupting the little moment. ”The goddamn light is green.”
Tapani didn’t even give enough of a shit to check who was yelling at him, he was too lost in thought to tell.
— Go!
He noticed he had stayed there anyways, quickly blamed himself, and did. The car pulled up in a parking spot on the left, next to this little house that, is supposed to be a kiosk, I suppose. He started paying attention again.
They all stepped out of the car. Tapani laid his eyes back on the huge, smoothly flowing wings of the turbine, that blocked the sun for half a second, one at a time. The well-orchestrated, unbreakable but still somehow alluring and beautiful movement of those wings. What the hell is up with me today?
— ”Samuli?” Miska said.
— Right here.
— That’s wonderful. A little help, maybe?
• How quickly does thought even… ugh.
Miska was standing next to the full trunk of the sedan. Tapani walked up with a cigarette burning in his hand.
— ”Would you throw that shit away, please?” Miska gruntled at him.
Tapani flinged the thing to the water, not even trying to say anything, and just looked at Miska ordinarily, boringly. Miska opened up the trunk and started pulling out a litterbad the size of a human head. Tapani put his palm on Miska’s hand, saying:
— I’m just thinking out loud here, but--
— ”As usual”, Miska interrupted him, with an eyeroll following.
— Where do you think you’re going with those four quarters of a human head, with witnesses all around you?
— We’re fucking going to Hailuoto, aren’t we?
— What, by foot? You walk on water now? What exactly are you thinking!?
— ”Don’t fucking get smart now, you know I’m not all there this morning! I’m sorry, okay?” Miska said, disturbed.
— ”Yeah go ahead, raise your voice a little more”, Samuli said sarcastically, from some steps away, where he was smoking his cigarette.
Miska started walking up. Tapani looked. While at it, he threw the bag – which he had gotten out of Miska’s hand at some point, I don’t remember – in the trunk, and shut it. Back to what’s happening. Miska was heated. He stopped and stood in front of Samuli, as tall as he could stretch himself.
— ”I’m gonna fucking poke your eyes out, you don’t fucking behave.” He barked at Samuli who was still in a little bit of amazement over what just took over that guy.
— ”Yeah, right”, Samuli laughingly responded, reaching to his pocket. ”What do you say we start calling some people over, and see who’s poking out what?”
Miska forced himself to turn around. He walked back to the trunk, looked at it, then at Tapani.
— ”Now what the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” He yelled.
— Seriously, Miska, stop raising your voice! We gotta--
— ”Don’t tell me what to do”, Miska demanded.
Tapani raised up his hand, trying to get a word in, but was interrupted:
— ”Don’t tell me what to do.”
Tapani looked away… but couldn’t keep it. He looked and noticed Miska looking back, silent, like he was waiting for something. Tapani opened his mouth after no response for long enough:
— Well, what can I say to that...?
— Exactly. Don’t say nothing.
— It was a rhetorical question
— ”Retoretoreto” Miska said mockingly, but frustrated. He kicked the bumper of the car angrily, not scratching anything. ”What the fuck do we do then?”
— ”You’re actually asking a question? Me and Samuli are gonna get a chance to talk?” Tapani said, mostly sarcastically, but with anger competing for a spot at the top of the iceberg.
— ”Don’t fucking start mouthing off at me now.” Miska raved. ”I’m this close to dropping you in the fucking jaw.”
Samuli interrupted:
— We have to wait. We should be among the last bunch to enter the ferry. Then we can choose a spot in the back-end, so the wiff of the car won’t travel into other people’s noses. You know they like to step out of their cars to take in the sea-air.
— ”I’m totally gonna do that”, Tapani said.
— ”Finally someone says something like it is, without all the extra shit.” Miska took easy shots at Tapani.
Tapani just looked away, not saying a word.
Miska looked at him, like he was waiting for his friend to answer. He then did:
— Yeah. O.K.

FIVE MINUTES LATER:
The boys were standing in a row, leaning on the nose of Tapani’s car. On the right and left of Miska, Tapani and Samuli respectively were in the closing phases of smoking their cigarettes. Standing in the middle, Miska held up the sleeve of his shirt, over his nose, looking at both his friends – who tried paying it no mind – rolling his eyes.
— ”Fuck, it’s here.” Samuli announced, looking back. ”Get in the car.”
Miska did another eyeroll, and stepped in the backseat. Still standing outside, Tapani had trouble taking his eyes off the grey sky, and the loose, darker cloud hanging underneath a bigger formation. He forced himself to stop. Samuli had gotten inside in the meanwhile, too – They’ll start wondering. After he got inside, he drove the car into what looked like a tunnel. It was dark for a minute, as they all fastened their seatbelts. The ferry took off almost immediately. They didn’t even see the dark line in the horizon – known to locals as Hailuoto – yet.
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
To be born again
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
Samuli, Miska, Tapani, all stepped foot on the floor of the ferry at the same time. Tapani immediately turned his eyes back to the clouds that had been distracting him the whole time. Before he could mumble out the first word, he heard Miska announce:
— Yeah, bye boys, I’m just gonna head over there.
And he went. Samuli and Tapani just watched. Two seconds later they got bored, walked to the front and leaned on the rail, next to one another, and looked out to the sea.
— ”Gimme a light”, Samuli asked, having dug out another cigarette from his pocket.
Tapani did as told, placed another one of his cigarettes in between his own lips, and lit up both of them.
— ”I wonder what his problem really is.” Samuli told Tapani, while the two looked at their friend, who was getting back into the car.
— I don’t know, he’s always been an A.D.D-monkey.
— Are you sure it’s just that? I’ve met plenty of people with A.D.D in my time and they all know how to keep their mouths shut for at least a minute. For real, the whole time we were in the car, he was complaining. About everything.
— F’real, he was like a kid repeating ”are we there yet?”
— Like, God, you should just go ahead and wash your dirty laundry yourself, if you’re not gonna find even a word of gratitude to say. It’s not like we charge him for this – which we should.
Tapani looked at the sky while hearing Samuli say that. He started regretting the look, got to thinking, and snapped back when he realized everything at once. Samuli was looking at him.
• Why? FUCK!
— ”Just close him off from your thoughts” Tapani said, frustrated. ”He’s a dumbass, you know that.”
Samuli nodded his head, concurring, rolling his eyes as extra.
— ”And that fucking eye-roll.” Tapani said, still frustrated.
Samuli look at Tapani, unsure of what his friend meant.
— ”He does it all the time”, Tapani said, fixing what he just said. ”Haven’t you noticed?”
— ”Mmhmm…” Samuli replied, feeling a little bit in the dark.
An awkward silence fell down on ’em.
Samuli walked to the left side of the ferry. The little line in the horizon had shown up, gotten some shape around it, and he watched it unfold, focused. Tapani stayed behind, still feeling awkward, ashamed,
• Would you just get over there?!
Grinning his teeth and looking around, he followed.
After a while of just leaning to the rail in the front-end, they both looked up at the sky at the same time, then in the water, at the same time. The passing water… they wondered quietly, neither of them saying a word.
Miska was sitting in the car, displeased, staring at the floor, holding his chin with his palm, and yawning.
”This ferry...” — Tapani started a conversation, pushing the words out of his mouth, facing his fear of this conversation, basically taking a chance.
— ”Huh?” Samuli replied.
— ”You’ve been to Hailuoto before, haven’t you.” Tapani presented a question like he would a statement.
— Yeah…?
— How does this work?
— Huh?
— ”At what time of the day, approximately--”, Tapani started blurting his question nervously. He noticed, how Samuli turned to look at him. The noticing felt painful. He realized that he had left an inappropriately keen look in his face, and wiped it off, turning to rubbing down his beard.
Then he realized he had just said half of what he tried to say.
• This is so fucking horrible
— ”When does this run? Travel?” He rambled, trying to disarrange the gabble from his voice at the same time. ”At what time of the day?”
— I’ve actually never looked at the schedule. I’ve never been too interested in going here, just sometimes in the summer. It’s a pretty shitty place.
— How can you know that if you’ve never been interested about it?
— ”Well… yeah.” Samuli replied.
Tapani turned his eyes back to the sky. He saw the darker cloud again, squinted his eyes, first without noticing it, then on purpose. His vision became clearer.
Samuli flinged the butt of his cigarette over the edge, to the sea, where it was put out immediately upon impact. That movement happening next to Tapani, made him snap back from whatever he was thinking about, quicker than he even noticed. He started feeling weirdly dizzy about the transition, turned to look at Samuli’s cigarette quick, before the ferry ran over it and it disappeared. We just crushed it on our way and went on without giving it a thought.
• If only things else had that kind of…
o Wait, what?
He looked at his own cigarette, of which there was just a filter left. He threw it over the edge too, and turned to look at Samuli.
Samuli looked back.
— ”What about wintertime?” Tapani asked.
— Wintertime what?
— Does this run in wintertime too?
— Of course… I think. No, it does. It always says on the sign at the start of Hailuodontie, after the gas station, when it’s running. At wintertime it says ’the ice road is in use’. I don’t exactly know what that--
— ”Ice road is the alternative to going by ferry. It’s like, in the deepest winter, at the coldest time, when there’s so much ice in the sea. I think the limit was 40 centimeters.” Tapani said.
— Oh yeah. It’s the road they put up in between the mainland and the island.
— So you can drive alone on it…
— ”Yup”, said Samuli, with his mind drifting out of this dragging topic.
— ”When it’s too cold, you can--” Tapani said, stopping mid-sentence, seeing how Samuli was just looking away at the horizon, and the slowly, steadily oncoming island.
Tapani looked to the sky too. There was a group of those darker clouds that had appeared while they were conversating; while I wasn’t keeping guard.

AT NIGHT:
Samuli came home, kicked off his shoes, took in some air. He then heard the steps, but tried not to. Yawning, he turned to look at his girlfriend, standing at the door, looking at him.
— ”Well?” She interrogated.
— ”Well?” Samuli answered. He wasn’t in the mood for a conversation.
— How’d it go? You said you’d tell me.
— I really gotta go to sleep. It’s a long story and telling it would just make me awake again.