I was only afraid

[Intro]
I tried my best to say that it wasn't my fault
But I will make my mistakes and I will always fall down
And blame myself for when there's no one around to save me
From falling down

[Verse 1]
I fucking hate myself because of you
And there was nothing else that I could do
I tried to see what's good in you
But I can't see what's good in myself
A hypocrite, a piece of shit, a fucking liar
That's all I am, that's all I'll be
And I can't see how you could ever forgive me

[Pre-Chorus]
I severed all our ties
So you don't have to watch me die

[Chorus]
This hurts me more than it hurts you
I never like to face the truth
But I can't just go and pretend it'll be okay
'Cause it's not okay, I'm not okay

[Verse 2]
Feel the regret
I'm so ashamed to [?]
To all of your pain
When I was afraid of who you'd become
You showed your true colors
And I had to run away

[Pre-Chorus]
I hate that it's all
But I'm always so cold
And it's better this way
So leave me to wait

[Chorus]
This hurts me more than it hurts you
I never like to face the truth
But I can't just go and pretend it'll be okay
'Cause it's not okay, I'm not okay

[Verse 3]
We have all failed as god's creation
And I am haunted by my mistakes
Do not pity me for I am a broken shell
But how could you blame me?
For trying to protect myself
I was only afraid

[Verse 4]
I always win the game of losing people that I love
And I feel like I'm the best at fucking everything up
And I'm so sorry, but I know that you will never forgive me
And that's okay
I never thought my heart could ever be so fucking numb
And all I wanted was someone to show me that I'm loved
But even that seems so far away (far away)
I made mistakes
Every day I'm so ashamed
Wish that I could take it back, but this poison is uncurable
I have spent my life trying to make everything right
I forget about myself
Then I get there's nothing left
Oh

[Outro]
My guilt has finally killed me
My guilt has finally killed me
My guilt has finally killed me
My guilt
My guilt
My guilt
My guilt is fucking drowning me
Oh