I’ve Come to Wive It Wealthily in Padua

I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua
If wealthily then happily in Padua
If my wife has a bag of gold
Do I care if the bag be old?
I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua
He's come to wive it wealthily in Padua
I heard you mutter, "Zounds, a loathsome lad you are."
I shall not be disturbed one bit
If she be but a quarter-wit
If she only can talk of clo'es
While she powders her goddamned nose
I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua
He's come to wive it wealthily in Padua
I heard you say, "Gadzooks, completely mad you are!"
'Twouldn't give me the slightest shock
If her knees now and then should knock
If her eye were a wee bit crossed
Were she wearing the hair she'd lost
Still the damsel I'll make my dame
In the dark they are all the same
I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua
He's come to wive it wealthily in Padua
I heard you say, "Good gad, but what a cad you are!"
Do I mind if she fret and fuss
If she fume like Vesuvius
If she roar like a winter breeze
On the rough Adriatic seas
If she screams like a teething brat
If she scratch like a tiger cat
If she fight like a raging boar
I have oft stuck a pig before
I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua
With a hunny, nunny, nunny
And a hey, hey, hey
Not to mention money, money
For a rainy day