I Tried to Kill Myself.

[Chorus]
I got a deep depression
I don't sleep when I need the resting
So I got a crippling anxiety inside me that's about to eat my flesh, man
I just wanna feel relief and lessen all the needless questions
But I keep on stressing, and I keep obsessing
I keep looking at my phone every three damn seconds
Just to read my texts, and then I keep refreshing
Instagram every minute just to see some breast skin
If you wanna hurt me, you don't need a weapon
'Cause I keep distressing so deep
That I'm probably gonna bleed to death
From all the ulcers, diseases, infections and hunger to reach perfection
I used to take drugs just to ease the tension
But when you take drugs, the Grim Reaper's present
I ain't talking 'bout the reefer you take for stress
I'm talking 'bout the painkillers that'll keep you sweating

[Verse]
I shouldn't be alive, here's a bleak confession
I was overanalyzing each regret
I got emotionless
I wanted to go somewhere and die
So I climbed to the roof of the tallest building
Took the deepest breath and...closed my eyes
Then I jumped!
Like, finally, I can be free from stress and
I can be free from this deep depression
I braced for impact
I'm gonna go "smack!" on the street in seconds
The fall took longer than I thought it should
I spread my arms and tried redirecting my body
So I can hit the ground sooner
Ready to die, like heaven's waiting
I decided that I'd open up my eyes and
Holy shit, I was levitating!
You gotta be joking
I never hit the ground, I was in the air floating
I grew two big white wings when I jumped
And now both of them were open
And I couldn't even close 'em
And above my head was a halo
I said to myself, "Uh, if I'm not mistaken, I think I'm an angel
Yep, I'm an angel
Look, I'm an angel, I see it myself"
I don't believe in angels, though
Which makes sense 'cause I don't believe in myself
My wings are spread
I'm flying so high right over my city
You know what?
I never realized, goddamn, man, this place is kinda pretty
Look at that sunset, look at that horizon
Look at that man playing songs on the violin
I just wanna put a couple dollars in his hat
His song is so pretty, I just wanna go and clap
Look at that homeless guy, he looks hungry
He probably needs a ride to the shelter
Look at that pregnant woman trying to cross the street, man
Somebody should help her
Look, it's my grandmother; look, it's my damn brother
Holding hands, walking to the store
Look, it's the girl that I loved for years
She's on my front porch, knocking on my door
I don't understand, when I told her that I liked her
She said we should just be friends
Does she want me now? I wanna talk to her
Wait a sec, no, my life can't end
Oh my God, there's my dog in my backyard
I forgot to let him inside
I remember all the lonely days where he would snuggle me and keep me company
I swear I would pet him and hide
He's kinda old and he can't see well
So he'll probably never find a new home
And right there is the cemetery where my dad is buried
And on his tombstone, it says:
"Here I lie, proud of my children
I taught 'em to know that whatever doesn't kill them will make 'em stronger"
Fuck!
I let him down, I shoulda made it longer
I realized that my life cannot get better without me
I realized that my life on Earth was never about me
Happiness comes from health and people
From making 'em feel good and showing I care
I blinked my eyes and I was laying in my bed
I didn't really die, it was just a nightmare
Got out of bed and put on my shirt, shoes, and pants
I guess I'll give this life thing one more chance

[Chorus]
Shit, I got a deep depression
I don't sleep when I need the resting
Sometimes I fall asleep, but I dream of death
And I wake up feeling better like
"I guess I just needed some decompression"
No matter how sad you are, don't give in to the pressure
Just watch this video on repeat until you start to feel better

I love y'all