I Read

(Fosca gives a nervous, grotesque smile as the orchestra resumes, playing the piano music. Giorgio quickly rises. Fosca speaks, in rhythm to the music; her voice is lovely and elegant
But melancholy.)

[Fosca, spoken]
I hope I didn't startle you

[Giorgio, spoken]
Not at all. Signora Ricci, I'm Captain Bachetti–

[Fosca, spoken]
(simultaneously)
–Bachetti
I know. My cousin has told me all about you

(sung)
I came to thank you for the books
I would have sooner, but I've been so ill

[Giorgio, spoken]
Well, now you seem to be feeling more normal

[Fosca, spoken]
Normal? I hardly think so. Sickness is normal to me as health is to you
Excuse me. I shouldn't speak of my troubles. I've been going through a period of deep melancholy

(There is an awkward moment of silence as Adriana enters and pours Fosca a cup of coffee. As she leaves, the music becomes low and intense.)

I so enjoyed the novel by Rousseau

[Giorgio, spoken]
Oh, it's wonderful. My favorite, really

[Fosca, spoken]
The character of Julie is a great mystery

[Giorgio, spoken]
You should have kept the book longer to meditate over

[Fosca]
I do not read to think
I do not read to learn
I do not read to search for truth
I know the truth, the truth is hardly what I need

I read to dream
I read to live
In other people's lives
I read about the joys the world
Dispenses to the fortunate
And listen for the echoes

I read to live
To get away from life!

No, captain, I have no illusions
I recognize the limits of my dreams
I know how painful dreams can be
Unless you know they're merely dreams

(Smiling aridly.)

There is a flower
Which offers nectar at the top
Delicious nectar at the top
And bitter poison underneath
The butterfly that stays too long and drinks too deep
Is doomed to die
I read to fly
To skim
I do not read to swim

I do not dwell on dreams
I know how soon a dream becomes an expectation
How can I have expectations?
Look at me
No, captain, look at me
Look at me!

I do not hope for what I cannot have!
I do not cling to things I cannot keep!
The more you cling to things, the more you love them
The more the pain you suffer when they're taken from you

Ah, but if you have no expectations, Captain
You can never have a disappointment

(Fosca gives a short laugh; music continues under.)

(spoken)
I must be mad to chatter on about myself like this to you, forgive me

[Giorgio, spoken]
I assure you–

[Fosca, spoken]
No, forgive me, please

[Giorgio, spoken]
But truly, there is nothing to forgive–

[Fosca]
Have you explored the town?
It is remote
Isn't it?
And provincial, don't you think?

[Giorgio, spoken]
Yes

[Fosca]
And everything so brown:
The streets, the fields, the river even
Though there are some lovely gardens

(spoken)
You do like gardens, I hope?

[Giorgio, spoken]
Yes

[Fosca]
Good, I can show you gardens
And then of course there is the castle

(spoken)
The ruined castle

[Giorgio, spoken]
Ah

[Fosca, spoken]
I find it lovely. Probably because it's ruined, I suppose

[Giorgio, spoken]
I didn't know there was a castle

[Fosca]
I like to take excursions there
When I'm in better health
Perhaps you'll join me
And my cousin
One day...

[Giorgio, spoken]
That would be delightful. I don't believe I've seen a flower or a garden since the day I arrived

(Fosca suddenly gets up and slowly leaves the room. Confused, Giorgio rises and, after she has gone, takes his books and begins to leave.)