I’m the Greatest Star

[KURT]
I got 36 expressions
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that's six expressions more
Than all them Barrymores put together

Instead of just kicking me why don't they give me a lift?
Well, it must be a plot
'Cause they're scared that I got
Such a gift?
Well, I'm miffed

'Cause I'm
The Greatest Star
I am by far
But no one knows it
Wait, they're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute (Oh ooh Oh ooh)
They'll cheer each toot (Hey, that kid is terrific, mmm)
When I expose it (Now can't ya see to look at me that)

I'm a natural Camille
As Camille I just feel
I've so much to offer
(Hey, listen kid I know I'd be divine because)
I'm a natural cougher (Ahoo, aheh, ahay)

Some ain't got it, not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent
Laugh (ha ha ha ha)
They'll bend in half
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes (Stick around for the jokes!)
A thousand faces
I reiterate

When you're gifted, then you're gifted
These are facts
I've got no axe to grind
Hey, whataya, blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star

No autographs, please
Ya think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever?
I should say not
Any minute now they're gonna be out
Finished
Then it'll be my turn, huh

Who is the pip with pizzazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who's an American beauty rose?
With an American beauty nose?
And ten American beauty toes?
Eye on the target and wham!
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mister Keeney
Here I am

I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
That's why I was born
I'll blow my horn
Till someone knows it
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker then flare up, ha
All the world's gonna stare up
Looking down, you'll never see me
Try the sky cause that'll be me

I can make 'em cry
I can make 'em sigh
Someday they'll clamor for my drama

Have you guessed yet?
Who's the best yet?
If you ain't I'll tell ya one more time
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest
Greatest star