I’m So Official

[INTRO]
"From now on, that'll be, like, our little thing, like you're, like, a little version of me. I'm carrying you around like-- like in a papoose. It would be amazing."

[Hook]
I’m so official, all I need is a whistle
I’m so official, all I need is a whistle
I’m so official, all I need is a whistle
All I need is a whistle
All I need is a whistle

Said I’m so official, all I need is a whistle
I stole that line from Wheezy and Lil’ Drizzle
And yes, it’s the nigga with the Care Bear kizzles
And fuck what’chu heard, I don’t even care a little
It’s the B to the izzle, niggas can’t see me
Fresh like a baby
Sick like a preemie
Girls double team me - blow me in the parking lot
I used to get fucked over and now I only fuck a lot
I love being nerdy, these niggas shop at Wal-Mart
I shop so I mall cop, call a nigga Paul Blart
I’ma have a drug fart, meaning that my shit’s dope
Nigga in a bow-tie - that’s my fuckin’ kinfolk
Girls used to say, “Nope!” - like they watch P&R
Now they say yes because I’m on before P&R
Yes, my European car speaks for itself
I don’t wear that fuckin’ jewelry, it’s bad for your health
See, where I come from, they would hit you where you’re walkin’
Rip your fuckin’ chain off, leave you in a coffin
Stay Stone Mountain
Nigga, where my hood at?
Niggas say, “You it!” when you drinkin’ with a hoodrat
Boy, the beat’s so sick, thank you mc DJ!
Chillin’ on my sofa watchin’ Venture Bros. Blu-rays
Niggas gettin’ mad because I’m flyer than a Blue Jay
Rappin’ and on tv like a nigga LL Cool J
Call you on a Tuesday, fuck you like it’s Friday
I don’t run no drains, bitch, call my shit the highway
Blacker than Mugabe, Whiter than the album
I guess I’m in the middle, so call a nigga Malcolm
You don’t need to help him
DIY - do it yourself, nigga don’t try
“Please, just do it!” The girl sound Nike
Guess that’s the reason why these niggas don’t like me
Girls I don’t know give my penis oral hygiene
My dick plays the field like my dick won a Heisman
Niggas talkin’ shit and that shit don’t surprise me
And I’m so official, got a badge and a nightstick

["Only one question remains, Eric. Why'd you do it?
- I'll bet you he gets his kicks giving old ladies the heebie-jeebies
- Hell, no. I wanted to see if it felt like pussy!"]

[Hook]

Said I’m so official, all I need is a whistle
Nigga blew up and he didn’t need a missile
“He tryin’ too hard.” Homie, this my hobby!
I do this on vacation, rappin’ is my golfin’
Young Young Hova, lil’ Lil’ Wheezy
Dress the turd up slutty, make the shit look easy, uh
I’m the choreographer -
‘cause I’m making moves and you niggas just follow ‘em, uh!
Elroy made a funny on you slow ones
Yes, my name is Childish, but you guys are children
How’s it fucking feel man, being so on fire?
Stepping on these short guys like I’m in The Shire
I am slow Orlando, oops, late bloomer
Money comes quick, but the girls come sooner
Opposite gay victim, meaning straight shooter
I’m fuckin’ in yo redneck, I’m diggin’ in your cooter, yes
Who told them I was so dope?
Rapping’s a religion, and nigga I’m the provost
I don’t even know those other guys telling me they know my little cousin Lindsay
Nigga, I’m busy
Um, that’s it though, angry like a pitbull
Talkin’ like it’s hard work. Nigga, this is simple
Shout out to black nerds, shout out to white ones
Shout out to Asians, keep playin’ Street Fighter
Shout out to nerd chicks in glasses, sweeter than cinnamon
Me and Sick Boi are synonyms
People hear my voice and say, “What happened to Eminem?!
This shit is absurd! He’s saying the n-word!”
Naw, it’s just Bam-B. The nigga that’s crazy for giving shit free
And fuck iTunes, I’m doin’ it OG
And girls love my dick like a song that’s on Glee
Nigga, call me Elroy - because I’m so high
That you cannot measure, I’m losing cabin pressure
Got drive like a brand new Volvo
I’m so official, I’m the Foot Locker logo, nigga