I’m so lonely i grow a new hymen

after Sandra Cisneros

This fake little sheet strung out on the clothesline spattered with blood,
this vanilla store-bought birthday cake with my name squished on top in red icing,
this slime I made from an arts & crafts project years ago that I still keep
under my bed, this four-foot fence lined with thorny, vengeful roses,
this Dunkin Donuts napkin Abuelita keeps in her nightstand, this sliding-door
Mami puts a vase in front of so she can wake up if & when
there’s ever a burglar, this cover ripped off from a pulp romance novel
& sent back to the publishers, these two hands joined together at the pinky
opening & closing to reveal a pink face faking surprise, a moist mouth
going SURPRISE! Hello what is up how is it going?
It really has been so long & I just want to tell you something.
Sometimes I miss the heartbreak of having to starting over.
Sometimes I really believe I can turn anything into a you.
Sometimes I want to be what breaks open & stains the sheets.