​i’m okay

Now in my darkest moments
I long for a call or a text message
A post on my wall, a request, mention
But nine out of ten my inbox is empty
No phone fluorescence
No invitation to the pity party
I wish i was a part of
Another night all alone up in my room with the tunes
With the moon and the stardust
I’m thinking I’m a little ironic
I really need a heart to heart
But my heart is hardened but I need you most
Come close but you keep your distance
Like my guards are armed
I’m not your happy-go-lucky companion
I’m only tragic
What’s left of my passion is
Slipping through cracks in my fingers like magic
I don’t need your help, I’ll be okay
You’re too late to save me anyway
What kind of hope is left
I’m losing control like I’m tokin’ meth
A rogue when I roam like I’m Boba Fett
If I’m alone for a sec it ain’t copacetic:
I’m mad paranoid
And I mourn for the man that I used to be
He died and my pride did the eulogy
Let me "deal" in peace; another pack of cards
Used to rap from the heart now
I rap from the scars
I wish I could tell you that
I’m in the midst of the will of the father
But this ain’t a place I could feel him
And I cannot take it no longer
Someone once told me I worship myself
And my lover is comfort
So maybe the guilt and the shame
That I carry is just that I suffer
I’m a liar, don’t you understand
My heart is hard so I need to pretend
My pride is large but won’t you see me through
We need each other but we saying
We need each other but i'm saying:
I don’t need your help I’ll be okay
(you’re too late to save me anyway)