I’m at Home Gettin’ Hammered (While She’s out Gettin’ Nailed)

[Verse 1]
We started in the mornin', carried well into the night
Throwin' dirty dishes with all of our might
Sad commentary on a marriage that has failed
I'm at home gettin' hammered while she's out gettin' nailed

[Verse 2]
Police pulled into my trailer park
Domestic violence'll cost you, brother, after dark
It's a late night with her boss, she's tryin' to make a sale
I'm at home gettin' hammered while she's out gettin' nailed

[Verse 3]
I'm at home drinkin' whiskey in my easy chair
Watchin' Jerry Lawler pullin' Andy Kauffman's hair
I had a suspicion so I opened up her mail
I'm at home gettin' hammered while she's out gettin' nailed

[Bridge]
She used to bring me beer and love all over me
Right before I went on disability
My wiggler ain't so straight, I got whiskey-dick
She don't perk it up 'cause her ankles got so thick

[Verse 4]
The moral of this story is sad but true
I love to drink, she loves to screw
Hobo's got a better life just ridin' on them rails
I'm at home gettin' hammered while she's out gettin' nailed