I Love My Dog - SNL

[Starts with Mark, Chris Redd, Pete Davidson, Kenan Thompson warming up for rap music]
Chris Redd: Yeah, yeah

Love that girl, she stays loyal in these streets
Coz soon as I pull up to the crib she getting keyed up

Pete Davidson: She my main girl I get home she gets at me hop up on my lap like welcome home, daddy

Chris Redd: I love her. I don’t even got to fake it and when she’s at home she loves being naked

Pete Davidson: She’s my best friend, She shows love and respect That’s why she walk around with my name on her neck

All: I love my bitch, my bitch is my dog [Chris, Pete and Kenan standing with their dogs]
Good dog, good dog, only dog that’s all. Bow wow, my dog, good dog I talk to my dog Bow-wow, she cute she bald, big dog, little dog, fat dog, skinny dog, roof

Chris Redd: My cranium and feed my Pomeranian she doodoo on my carpet I say No that is not where duty goes. Woof Woo,f that’s the classic sound of my Pitt with my basset hound If my dog was a dog, then I re-up with a mini Pekinese In a teacup

Pete Davidson: I’m allergic to these bitches I touch ‘em and start itchin’ if I see it then I pet it get the drugs up out the kitchen Woof Woof, Zyrtec and a Benadryl and a Claritin ‘cause it’s getting real I like my dog's hype, hype, hypoallergenic

[Marks comes upfront yelling]
Mark: We love dogs out here! You think this is a [Bleep] game? You say something about my dog, I will literally murder you in your face!

Chris Redd: Woah, Woah. Hey, Mark, man. You the DJ. Chill, bro. Chill, the hell is wrong with Mark?

All: My dog she comes when I call Bow wow, My dog, silly dog, new dog, old dog, black dog, gold dog

[Cut to Kenan riding ATV with his dog]
Kenan Thompson: My dog’s name is Bryce, she my little Pookie Pookie she loves a little hat [The dog is wearing a little hat] but she really loves cooking Got her own Instagram @pookiespike3

Bow wow, some say I rescue her but she really rescued me

Aw, look at her little face. You is a little boo boo in the hat. You do got a little hat on, don’t you?

[Marks comes up front yelling]
Mark: Respect this dog! Or I’ma shoot you dead! I got shooters in the streets

Chris Redd: Yo, Mark, man, enough with the death threats, man. Chill, bro

Pete Davidson: Something ‘bout dogs, Mark

Kenan Thompson: I don’t like Mark

Chris Redd: Mark crazy, bro

Lady rapper: You boys done? I got something to say. Puggin and thuggin yeah, that’s cool but the kissing disgusting

Kenan Thompson: I’m kissing pookie right now

Lady rapper: Yeah, but I’m wishin’ you wasn’t matter fact, I’ma keep it 100

[Lady rapper carrying a rabbit]
Dogs are okay, but I love me some bunnies hop hop bunny, bunny, bunny hop hop There’s a bunny on money hop hop frankly I don’t give shh-TZU, bunnies are better than dogs it’s true, it’s true

Kenan Thompson: Now you talkin’ crazy

Mark: My dog

Lady rapper: Bunny!

All: Dog, dog, dog, dog

Lady rapper: Bunny hop bunny

All: She closed it, she fall

My best friend my dog

Lady rapper: Bunny, hop