I’ll Never Be Jealous Again

[MABEL, spoken]
Hinesy. Hinesy, Hinesy, Hinesy.

[HINES, spoken]
I've learned my lesson, Mabel. I'll never be jealous again.

[MABEL, spoken]
You stick to it now.

[HINES, spoken]
Absolutely.

[MABEL]
That's easier said than done

[HINES, spoken]
I can do it.

[MABEL]
I knew it
But let's take an example, just for fun
(spoken)
C'mon baby. C'mon over here.

[HINES, spoken]
Example? I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

[MABEL, spoken]
Sit down.
(sung)
Picture this
You're sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date

[HINES]
There I am
I'm sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date

[MABEL]
Here she comes
Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight

[HINES]
Here she comes
Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight

[MABEL]
Later on
She gets a bouquet with a card in it saying
"To baby, you were great"
(spoken)
Well, Hinesy, what would you do then?

[HINES]
I would trust her

[MABEL, spoken]
Yes!

[HINES]
I would trust her
By George, I swear I would trust her
No, I'll never be jealous again

[MABEL, spoken]
Very good, Hinesy.

[HINES, spoken]
See, it's mind over matter.

[MABEL, spoken]
But I'm not finished. C'mon, let's take another example.

[HINES, spoken]
I don't have all the time in the world.

[MABEL, spoken]
You got all the time I need, baby, don't worry about it.
(sung)
Picture this
You've nothing to do so you drop in to chat for a while

[HINES]
There I am
With nothing to do so I drop in to chat for a while

[MABEL]
Something's up
The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

[HINES]
Something's up
The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

[MABEL]
There you see
A shirt and a tie and pair of pants in a nice neat little pile
(spoken)
Well, Hinesy?

[HINES]
I— I would trust her
I would trust her
By George, I swear I would trust her
No, I'll never be jealous
I'll never never never never
Never never never never
Never be jealous again

[MABEL, spoken]
That's the stuff, Hinesy. You're practically cured!

[HINES]
There will be no more nightmares to sleep through
No more keyholes to peep through

[MABEL]
No more bushes to creep through

[HINES]
That's my plan

[MABEL]
Well, now that you're a new man
Picture this

[HINES, spoken]
Bring it on.

[MABEL]
You go to your sweetie's apartment, you borrow the keys

[HINES]
There I am
I go to my sweetie's apartment, I borrow the keys

[MABEL]
There she is
She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

[HINES]
There she is
She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

[MABEL]
Then, to boot
She tells you she was in the arms of a cousin
Who's back from overseas

[HINES, spoken]
Ah. Her cousin?

[MABEL, spoken]
Yes.

[HINES, spoken]
From overseas?

[MABEL, spoken]
Uh huh.

[HINES, spoken]
Do you expect me to believe that? I was not born yesterday!

[MABEL, spoken]
Hinesy!

[HINES]
I— I— I would trust her

[MABEL, spoken]
Oh.

[HINES]
I would trust her
By George, I swear I would trust her
No, I'll never be jealous
I'll never never never never
Never never never never
Never never never never
Never never never
Never be jealous again

[MABEL, spoken]
Oh, I'm so proud of you!