I Know a Girl

[VELMA, spoken]
Hello, suckers, welcome back
Roxie's in there being looked over by the state medical examiner
She says she's gonna have a baby
Now why didn't I think of that?

(sung)
Can you imagine?
I mean, can you imagine?

Do you believe it?
I mean, do you believe it?

I know a girl, a girl who lands on top
You could put her face into a pail of slop
And she'd come up smelling like a rose
How she does it
Heaven knows

[REPORTER, spoken]
Hold on everybody, she's comin' out now
Well, doc, is she or isn't she?

[DOCTOR, spoken]
She is

[REPORTER, spoken]
She is

[VELMA]
I know a girl
A girl with so much luck
She could get run over by a two-ton truck
Then brush herself off and walk away
How she does it, couldn't say

[BILLY, spoken]
Doc, would you swear to that statement in court?

[DOCTOR, spoken]
Oh, yeah

[BILLY, spoken]
Good, uh, button your fly

[VELMA]
Whilst I
On the other hand
Put my face in a pail of slop
And I would smell like a pail of slop
I... On the other hand
Get run over by a truck
And I am deader than a duck
I know a girl
Who tells so many lies

Anything that's true
Would truly cross her eyes
But what that mouse is selling
The whole world buys
And nobody smells a rat!

[ROXIE, spoken]
Oh please, ladies and gentlemen of the press
Leave the two of us alone so we can rest

[VELMA, spoken]
The two of us?
(sung)
Can you imagine?
I mean, can you imagine?

[REPORTER, spoken]
Could I have one last picture please?

[ROXIE, spoken]
Oh, sure
Anything for the press

[VELMA]
Do you believe it?
I mean do you believe it?