I Just Want the Tories to Fuck Off

[Verse 1]
The fairy lights are twinkling
The mince pies smell divine
The Arctic Circle's sinking
But let's have a jolly time
Oh I've come here to be festive
Not bring the mood down low
So let's get Shakin' Stevens
Playing on the stereo
Oh I'll make a batch of mulled wine
To fill me with good cheer
I'll go and visit Santa
And when he turns to me and asks me
What I really want for Christmas morn this year

[Chorus]
I'll say that
I just want the Tories to fuck off
And stop ruining our lives
And dismantling the country
I just want the Tories to fuck off
'Cause too many folks this year
Are spending Christmas cold and hungry
Unless you are a millionaire
And very close to death
There's no way that their policies
Can help you
So I just want the Tories to fuck off
It's the decent thing to do

[Verse 2]
Now I know what you're thinking
You don't want to hear me moan
It's Christmas time not Question Time
Just leave us all alone
But it's hard to feel too merry
When there's brand new coal mines planned
And sewage in the ocean
And the gas bill is four grand
And I'm scared of loved ones dying
Waiting for an ambulance
How many basic failings
Will it take to stop you
Voting for these cunts?

[Chorus]
I just want the Tories to fuck off
And stop ruining our lives
And dismantling the country
I just want the Tories to fuck off
'Cause too many folks this year
Are spending Christmas cold and hungry
Unless you are a millionaire
And very close to death
There's no way that their policies
Can help you
So I just want the Tories to fuck off
It's the decent thing to do

[Bridge]
And I know they've lost support
At least according to the polls
So maybe we might get them out next time
Then I guess we will have Labour
Who might be sort of fine?
But still pandering to racists
And just tinkering on the margins
Of our planet's undeniable decline
Hit it

[Saxophone Solo]

[Bridge]
I just want the Tories to fuck off
Yeah that's all I'm asking for
On my Father Christmas letter
I just want the Tories to fuck off
Because deep down in my soul
I believe we deserve better
Than private dental practices
And overcrowded trains
And waiting hours for ambulances
Refugees on planes
And criminalizing protest
To silence all dissent
And standing by while people
Starve themselves to pay the rent
And our postal staff and railway workers
Nurses forced to strike
And Matt Hancock on TV
Doing what the fuck he likes
And five PMs in six years
Who just fuck things up and flee
That's why all I want for Christmas
God knows all I want for Christmas
Is for everyone to sing it now with me

[Outro]
(I just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)
Sing it now with me (Just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)
Sing it now with me (Just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)
Sing it now with me (Just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)
Want Rishi Sunak to fuck off (Just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)
Dominic Raab to fuck off (Just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)
And Nadine Dorries, and definitely Jacob Rees Mogg (Just want the Tories to fuck off, just want the Tories to fuck off)