I Hate Horses (Stirrup Charm)

Bobby was a cowboy
Liked to roam the Range
It’s a bar near Great Neck
The man sold vans and he was strange

Found a stirrup in the gutter
Did a bourbon stumble home
Laid the thing beside my pillow
Smelled like garbage and ice-cream cone

I hate horses
All my friends drew horses
Never looked that free to me
Scared and crazy as can be
I hate, I hate horses

Marina mimosas
Another dude another time
Said the stirrup changed the world
Like the printing press or Patsy Cline

He took me home to his pick-up
We drank booze and watched the stars
Said he team-roped in the rodeo
That’s code for something people did in cars

I hate horses
All my friends drew horses
Never looked that free to me
Scared and crazy as can be
I hate, I hate horses

But I got one stirrup to my name
Cracked and dirty stirrup for my claim
Trick rider, won’t you lean down for me?
I’m dying in this dust

Oh, I hate horses
All my friends drew horses
Never looked that free to me
Scared and crazy as can be
I hate, I hate horses
I hate, I hate horses