I Drink

I drink to drive away all the years I have hated
The ambitions frustrated that no longer survive
I drink day after day to the chaos behind me
Yes, I drink to remind me that still I'm alive

So I give you a toast to the endless confusions
To the lies and delusions that have swallowed my life
Yes, I give you a toast to the wine and the roses
To the deadly cirrhosis that can cut like a knife

I drink to catch a gleam of the love we degraded
Of a life that has faded like the vanishing moon
I drink, as in a dream, to my waning desire
To the passionate fire that has burned out so soon

I drink and I drown in the promise you made me
All the times you betrayed me in your anger and spite
When you took on the town, when you looked for the action
When you took satisfaction, like a whore in the night

I drink to make-believe that my life is worth living
That the gods are forgiving at the end of the day
I drink because I grieve for the dreams when we started
For the innocent-hearted who got lost on the way

For the children unborn, for their dead, phantom faces
For our sterile embraces in the tomb of your bed
I drink, and I mourn for the harvest that failed
For the ship that has sailed, for the hope that is dead

I drink to find a place where the darkness can hide me
Till the terror inside me can at last disappear
I drink to my disgrace, till oblivion claims me
Till there's nothing that shames me, till I'm blind to my fear

Yes, I drink till I burst in my own degradation
To the edge of damnation that is waiting below
Yes, I drink with a thirst that destroys and depraves me
And cuffs and enslaves me, and will never let go

I drink until I'm lost, and the street is my hideout
Where I vomit my pride out till I'm gasping for breath
I drink to count the cost of a life I despair for
Until God hears my prayer for the compassion of death

So I spit out my bile at the gods who demean us
At the silence between us, at the love none can save
For a life that is vile, for a soul that is ailing
For a body that's failing as it heads for the grave

I drink without a care... drink because I must...
Drink to my despair... I drink to your disgust...
I drink, drink, drink... by God, I drink!
Yes, I drink!