I’d Rather You Cheat

[Chorus]
I said to you that I was in my darkest ever place
And I told you I was struggling
But you could only ever play the victim
So you went and told your friends that he's a prick but I'm in love with him
Prick or not was crying out for help
If you really gave a shit you wouldn't leave me there to melt
Putting tweets up as if I'm tryna benefit myself
You can hate me but to blatantly ignore my cries to listen
You can undermine my love but never never undermine my health
I'd just rather you cheat

[Verse]
Yeah, I never called you over night because I'd rather you sleep
But you would never do the same because you'd rather I speak
You don't want a heart to love
You want a heart you can keep
Yeah, and you saw me at my lowest tryna handle my grief
So why the fuck you can't acknowledge when my pains at it's peak
That's the single fucking reason that I struggle to speak
I'm not alcohol dependant it just helps me escape
I slip into train of thoughts and then I'm in them for days
The way my head would pound it ain't no minimum wage
I know my sister understands and she just know me as James
Boys will open up but once they're over the phase
Every time I open up I get it thrown in my face
Couple months and my emotions are all over the place
This is true all over England and all over the States
Mental trouble ain't a thing that just a story can heal
You can post what you want but that don't mean that you're real
It means you know the fucking person you want people to see
How many people do you check on when they struggle to sleep
How many people do you check on when they're quite at work
We just stigmatise the truth and tell our idols to twerk
All we do is work for money, sell our data to scum
Since my best friend passed I'm never buying the Sun
This album's been a mess cos I've been lower than low
And my only plan of action is fucking go with the flow
Slowly cooking all my thoughts
I bet they fall off the bone
Everybody knows the devil I think they call it a phone
I ain't dropped shit in a minute but they'll call me the goat
And I don't know if goats can swim but me I'm barely afloat
If I die who takes the crown cos I'm the heir to the thrown
My biggest problem is myself and when I'm sat on my own
I don't know what fucking happened man I used to be blessed
I guess a year can change a lot cos now I'm fucking depressed
But cool you probably think they're lyrics I just get off my chest
These aren't lyrics these are thoughts man I'm living with stress
If you saw me at the pub you'd think I'm chatting the most
How you cocky and depressed bruv I don't even know
And there ain't an ounce of fear when I'm out with my bros
But anxieties a killer when I'm back in my home
I distract myself by chasing after beautiful women
I ain't ever felt depressed when there's a worldie I'm kissing
And to you I'll say I'm sorry I just wish it was different
I didn't mean to write this song but if I didn't I'm tripping
Imperfection or I'm perfection, that depends if I've got space or not
Fuck a PCR test and fuck a lateral flow
Just play my music and you'll see if they've got taste or not
I've got new bars smudged up covering my palm like the logo on my angels top
I guess I'll die by my lyrics cos my veins will pop
I guess I'll die by my lyrics cos my veins will pop, yeah

[Chorus]
I said to you that I was in my darkest ever place
And I told you I was struggling
But you could only ever play the victim
So you said to all your friends that he's a prick but I'm in love with him
Prick or not was crying out for help
If you really gave a shit you wouldn't leave me there to melt
Putting tweets up as if I'm tryna benefit myself
You can hate me but to blatantly ignore my cries to listen
You can undermine my love but never never undermine my health
I'd just rather you cheat