I Can’t Play The Blues

(Intro Drum Solo)

(Verse 1)
I play as fast as I can, I'm the Gingerbread Man
With a fast hand, won't ya kick me outta your band?
I only play for me, I'm the king of Unity
I'm a team of one, a defective hired gun

(Verse 2)
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
Cause ya feel like a pawn in a volume war
And I'm the only one who bothers keeping score

(Chorus)
Because I got no feel, I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real, I just go through the motions
I'm full of tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice
I can't play the blues

(Verse 3)
And just in case I'm in a finger race
I keep it up and I keep pretending that I win the chase
But if ya play faster than the speed of light (according to Einstein)
Ya go back in time and end up in the 80's

(Bridge)
With our big hair
Jackets with fringes
Stretch pants
Mascara
Choreographed kicking

(Verse 4)
You got a big laugh outta 70's disco
But you became the same by a different name
You forgot to change your calendar 10 years in a row
Now ya can't find the pace of the new game

(Verse 5)
I play it like a ham, yeah with lots of spice
I'm the Son Of Spam in a block of ice
Yeah, I can't lay back, I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used

(Chorus)

(Guitar Solo)
Yeah, who's your medium sized daddy now?

(Verse 6)
Yeah I actually believe that if I wail up and down a scale
Then the world is gonna get up on their feet and yell...

(Interlude)
"Hail Ronald! Hail Ronald!
Take your big head and go to Hail, Ronald!"

(Verse 7)
Yeah, I can't lay back, I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam

(Chorus)

(Outro Solo)