I Can’t Do It Alone

[EMCEE, spoken]
Ladies and gentleman, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation

[VELMA]
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou' a week at least... oh, yeah
But my sister is now unfortunately deceased
I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect... double... act!

[VELMA, spoken]
Watch this

[VELMA]
First I'd, tchbasmovi tchbasmovi and that's the drums
Then she'd, woun-woun woun-woun, saxophone
Then we'd... Together!
But I can't do it alone

Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone

She'd say "what's your sister like?"
I'd say "men!" nyuk nyuk nyuk
She'd say "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again

When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...

And then those ding dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more
And we'd say "Ok fellas, keep your socks up
You ain't seen nothing yet!"

But I simply cannot do it alone

[VELMA, spoken]
Well, what'd ya think?
Come on, look, you can say

[ROXIE, spoken(?)]
*Pfft*

[VELMA, spoken]
Ok, ok, uh
Well the first part can always be rewritten, yeah sure
But the second part was really nifty
Ok, watch this

[VELMA]
Then she'd
Then I'd

[VELMA, spoken]
See get it? RIght? I kick really high

[VELMA]
Then we'd
But I can't do it alone

She'd say, "What state's Chicago in?"
I'd say, "ill!" Did you get that?
She'd say, "Turn your motor off!"
"Ring-ung-ung-ung"
I can hear 'em cheerin' still

When she'd go
I'd go
We'd go
Sideways!

And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down

[VELMA, spoken]
And we'd say "Ok, guys. Ok, fellas, we're goin' home, but here's a few more partin' shots"
And this—this we did in perfect unison...

[VELMA]
Now you see me going through it
You may think there's nothing to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone