I Am Not American

I am not American
Though I live in North America
Which is part of the Americas
Which should make me an American

Geographically Canadians
Are certainly Americans
As are Venezuelans
But not Hawaiians

They're out in the middle of the Ocean
Just like the U.S. Virgin Islands
They really shouldn't say they are Americans
Or even virgins

How could two whole continents
Lose their name to one constituent
Where were we when the U.S. went
And took the word American away

But to be fair to them
Their other name options
Like U.S.A.ers and United Statesians
Were pretty bad

Still I want to be as American
As the French are European
Or those in Antarctica are Antarctican
Even if they're just penguins

That leaves us Canadians as Northern North Americans
But Alaska’s norther curse them
We're surrounded by Americans
Americans

I just called those U.S.A.ers Americans
A name meant for two continents not just them
For if I said I was American
People would probably think I came from Maine

Still I think I have a plan
Let's become Antarctican
And join up with the penguins
For just like them, we're not American