“I Always, Always, Never Get My Man” is a song from the fifth episode of Schmigadoon!.
Jane Krakowski plays Countess Gabriele Van Blerkom, a parody of Baroness Schraeder from The Sound of Music. While on a car ride with Melissa (Cecily Strong), who has wooed her fiance Doc Lopez (Jaime Camil), the...
[COUNTESS]
Once I wooed a Swede named Bjorn
Had his maid bring tea each morn
Turns out horny Bjorn, he loved serving porn
And poof went my plan
I am beautiful and clever
And I always, always never get my man
There was Tex who traded stocks
Hired a girl to don his socks
And when Texy's socks led to sexy talks
I was out on my can
Give my all to each endeavor
And I always, always never get my man
Fell in love with Cole’s 1930 Rolls
Dreaming I would be his bride
But when his chauffeur turned out to be a her
They both took me for a ride
Seems l'll never end this curse
'Cause now my doctor has his nurse
And what’s worse, the nurse wants me to disperse
Like dust from a fan
So I hope you had your fun
But the fact is, girl 'ya done
'Cause this time, hon
Oh, this time hon
Yeah, this time hon
I am gonna, gonna get my man!
I Always, Always, Never Get My Man was written by Cinco Paul.
I Always, Always, Never Get My Man was produced by Caroline Maroney & Micah Frank & Andrew Singer & Lorne Michaels & Doug Besterman & Scott M. Riesett & Cinco Paul.
Jane Krakowski released I Always, Always, Never Get My Man on Fri Aug 06 2021.