Hustler Hall of Fame

[Verse One]:
The road to the top, through cross guards and hard knocks
Copper penny Johns and endless city blocks
Thieves straight as an arrow and crooked rent-a-cops
Shooting craps in the back of vacant lots

Three ring circus acts and worthless facts
Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of Diggum' Smacks
Fist-fucking faggots at the Y on gym mats
Rats run the wire while I'm looking for a match

I go back and forth just like a Cameo song
Honeys wanna love me but the line is long
So I make 'em take a number
Wake 'em from their slumber
What you know about Mickey?
(He's a bad motherfucker)

Truckers get my digits off the stalls at rest stops
I'm sick on the microphone like smallpox
Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock
Blind old ladies into diabetic shock

[Hook]:
It's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

[Verse Two]:
I flow like Niagara, but so go tell your manager
That Mickey Avalon ain't no motherfuckin' amateur
I fly flicks with my dick at your camera
I rip the stick out my girl's Porsche Carrera

I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up
Storm the front line and then find a spot for lunch
Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes
Rocket boosters with my boots run

Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats
Hoes know better find this brother at
I ripped the rubber mats out your lover's pad
And kicked your mother's ass right in front of your dad

Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight
Smashed my crown and let me down with a black eye
The bad guy, walking over landmines
Who can't die but still tries

[Hook]
It's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

[Verse Three]:
Leave your gods and your politics back at home
Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone
I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see
So when I'm at the bar, stay away from me

Don't ask for a smoke or to make some change
I don't care about your kid or your menstrual pains
You can call me rude but I like my solitude
And we don't need to chat while we're playing pool

So stay cool mister, I wasn't lookin' at your sister
That snaggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered
Now rack the balls while I'm in the stall
Pissin' out vodka and marking up the walls

I turn off the ringer when my lady calls
And don't point your finger unless you want a brawl
I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball
Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall

[Hook]
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown