Hustle Advisory

When I was a much younger man
I went to the university
I tried super-hard to understand
Until I had a big epiphany

I cried, “None of you people can really be trusted
“You’re not searching for enlightenment
“All of you people are just running a hustle
“To try to pay the rent.”

And then a genial professor of History
Took my arm and he took me aside
He said “I guess you’ve seen through the mystery
You must be very clever,” hе lied

“But did it ever occur to you, son
In your sеarch for the truth to be spilled
If I ever really thought that you could hurt this institution
I would pay someone to have you killed
Because

“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal
You seem like a reasonable man
But if you fuck with my hustle
I will get you if I can.”

I went out into the world to start perusing it
With my new hustle glasses on
Suddenly, a whole lot of confusing shit
Had a clear explanation

I saw a hustle there, a hustle here
Everybody seemed to have at least one
But I soon found that the people that you’ve really got to fear
Are the ones who don’t know they’ve a hustle going on

Don’t you know it’s nothing personal
You seem like a reasonable man
But if you fuck with my hustle
I will get you if I can

And Jesus was a hustler
When he walked upon the water
And the money changers looked up at him
In his lonely wooden tower

They said “When you went into that Temple, man
What the fuck were you thinking?
Don’t you know that money-changing is the way we’re gonna build
The future for the children.”

But Jesus wasn’t listening
As they worked themselves into a lather
He was busy trying to run a telepathic hustle on his father
Who said, “All men shall be hustlers
Until I tell you different, and

“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal
You seem like a reasonable man
But if you fuck with my hustle
I will get you if I can.”

Every now and then a leader comes along
Promising a great big change
He seems so optimisitic, he can’t be wrong
With his sunny, sunny ways

But before you wish him “Good luck with your career!”
Please get him to explain
Exactly whose hustle shall be fucked with here
And whose hustle shall remain unchanged

Are you ready to fuck with the Great Hustling Powers?
Because that is the changing test
And if so, Maybe they are going to greet you with flowers
But you better get yourself a little kevlar vest

Don’t you know it’s nothing personal
You seem like a reasonable man
But if you fuck with my hustle
I will get you if I can