How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

[Verse 1]
Listen up
I'm here to lay down the rules of breaking up
With you girlfriend at the end of relationship
There's lots of things you can do and many ways you can do it
I'll only give you ideas you'll have to walk yourself through it
This is not for players, I repeat, Do not try this at home
If the chick that your with is only so your dick can get boned (This is serious business)
Only follow through if you've been in a horrifying partnership for at least a year or two
Moving on
And if your girl is carrying your seed
Don't even waste your time listening to me
No Yeah
If you want to ditch her cause she's not a freak when she's in the sheets?
Go to the nudie bars and learn how to teach
I'm talking to you niggas with chicks who are gold diggers and brew
Cheated on you, Conceited and getting greedy on you
You know what you're doing
Just every five minute, get your limits on your chilling
Smoking weed or intake of Guinness
This is for y'all
The girls who take the dough, the keys to the car and be in the mall
The only thing she buy you is a phone that only she can call
Psycho chicks who like to scream in the street
Chicks who get off on being beat
Bitchy as hell in front of your mom? Man that's weak
If you live with her but she won't get a job and likes to eat
Or if you've been with her mad long but outside she's still discreet
Never mind, forget that last one, you don't count, beat concerns
If she won't hold your hand in public?(That's not your girl)
This is for men with psychos, fat girls with tight clothes
Devil strippers and hoes who date grade in night clothes
In condoms they break holes
And all their friends are stray pigeons
Listen, you getting fucked is their favourite position
I'mma help you out
Tell you how to get rid of bitches who only want you for your dick or your riches
Telling you
Just doubt before your shit bitches
They ain't your sisters, they trife
Whether your girl, fiancé or wife
Get 'em out of your life

[Hook]
Man they gotta go
I'm just trying to let you know
How to break up with your girlfriend (Oh no)

She trying to do you wrong (Uh-huh)
Listen to the song(Why?)
It's how to break up with your girlfriend (She's trife)

So you better listen up (Word)
You can get stuck or learn
How to break up with your girlfriend (There's many ways man)

Just pick one
You gotta be done (I know)
How to break up with your girlfriend

[Verse 2]
Number one, run
Number two, threaten her with a gun
Number three, just a synonym for one, flee
Number four, when she goes out just lock the door
Hang up a sign that says closed and keep it up there like you're running a store
Five, never arrive on time, show up for dates two days late
Never ever apologize and I'm eight
Number six, constantly call her a bitch but in German
Seven, start off every Sunday with a sermon
Eight, masturbate, but only with her and only in public, in romantic restaurants (Baby rub it)
Number nine, tell her "shove it"
Ten, take it back, cry, say it again
Number eleven, make her write an essay on seven
If she won't, for number twelve
Just tell the bitch that she's going straight to hell (I thought we were doing swell)
There's no number thirteen cause I believe in superstition
One four, make the back door your only position
One five, tell her that you need it daily sixteen times
Seventeen, tell her that you had a really bad dream
It was in the office, beat her to death with a fax machine
Eighteen, buy a fax
Next, keep it by the bed
Every morning when she wakes up, hold it over her head
Number nineteen, tell her your becoming a priest
Twenty, tell her that you want to live together, show her a lease
Tell her that it's a surprise, tell her cover her eyes
Lead her down a dark alley to a cardboard box
Remove the blindfold, watch her just feint from shock
Two one, tell her that you had a son when you was twelve
Twenty-two, tell her that you're Melle Mel
Twenty-three, every time that she lets go of your hand proclaim to the world "I'm free"
Twenty-four, hit yourself repeatedly
And finally when you get down to number twenty-five
Look her straight in the eye and say "baby are you a guy" (breath through clenched teeth)
Now look, if none of this works, remember I ain't tell you shit
Just tell her she's a bad job and you quit

[Hook]