How to Be Super Petty to Your Ex

[Intro: phem]
I've learned some interesting ways
To let them know that they don't mean a thing to you
I've learned some interesting ways
To let them know that they don't mean a thing to you

[Verse 1: Open Mike Eagle]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Do all the things that hurt the best. (yes)
Line your garbage can with one of the shirts they left. (trash)
Accidentally videotape yourself as you burn the rest
And then what?
And then upload it (okay) (yes)
You can marry one of their best friends
Tweet their name, their new boos, and add the symbol for less-than
So that way there isn't even a question
Like Ja Rule said

Give your new mate your old mates pet name
Sew it on a t-shirt and wear that shit to a Nets game. (dang!)
Pull up stealthily to them in the left lane
But don't acknowledge them at all
American Idol, go win the next one. (yes)
On TV shout out all your ex's except one
Let everyone know you bask in your freedom
Tell your grandmother to point and laugh if she sees 'em. (hahaha)
Whenever they call you can answer it
But don't speak, make sex noises, then cancel it. (nasty)
Take it to the next level, you can sample it! (oh my god)
Think here! Be creative!

[Spoken]
Fantastic, you see the light. You're letting it all fall away. You are approaching freedom. You are free. You are finally free. Oh.. You're thinking about them again... I can tell. You were so, you were so present just a moment ago. Okay, okay here we go, here we go, you ready? Once again:

[Bridge: Open Mike Eagle]
This is how you
This is how you
This is how you let 'em know
That you don't give a fuck no more
To let 'em know
That you don't give a fuck no more
To let 'em know
That you don't give a fuck, c'mon

I learned some interesting, interesting, interesting ways
To let 'em know
That you don't give a fuck no more
To let 'em know
That you don't give a fuck, cmon

[Verse 2: Open Mike Eagle]
Get famously good at everything
And now you've got a bunch of new ways to flaunt your wedding ring
You can put them on a custom facebook list where they can only see when you post about good shit
Take anything of value they left in your airspace and hock it at the pawnshop that's closest to their place
Put all the old love letters in the paper shredder
Use them to line your parakeet's bird cage forever
And have yourself a personal contest:
How many of your old couples pics can you crop best?
Or just date someone in their apartment building like High Fidelity.. that works real good too