How I Met My Ex

[Verse 1]
Like
I met my girl when I was eighteen-years-old
And she was just turnin' twenty-three
I really love her from my heart
And even though I don't deserve it, fam, I hope she loves me
So I just done this private show, I'm doin' Footlocker promo
And judgin' from the postcode it was Shoreditch or Soho
Did six or seven tracks, made six or seven racks
A couple days later on Twitter I saw this photo of myself and I was grinning
That 4K camera of quality had got me tripping
So I'm checking out who did it
When I stumbled on this girl
And I could tell that she was different
A couple hours later now I'm liking all her pictures
I ain't finished
I typed her Twitter name into my Insta so I could check on every single little digit
Why didn't I just message her?
Trust me I was thinking, but I'm a self-centred rapper too concerned about my image
The truth
So when she hit me first I'm pretty shocked I didn't burst
I'm callin' Josh, Jack and Juss, who am I ringin' first?
Man, I was so excited that I replied
A minute later, that's that "Bro, I think that you just let her know" excited
Too excited, no clue on what I should do excited
So I'm just typin', ramblin' like a fool, excited

[Verse 2]
Look, look
And we were talkin' for hours over some minor things
Ignorin' everyone else, to her, I'm replyin' quick
This type of chick, she got a spark like you were lightin' spliffs
You know you like her when you're thinking about your words
She got me typing, deleting my messages then re-writing
In the hope that there's a smile when she's replyin'
The highlight of my day, them phone calls in the night, it's the little things
The girl, she had a vibe and I liked it and
She's into photography, she's got a passion for it
And she respects that I'm rappin' but she ain't cattin' for it
See, that's the perfect balance, there's nothin' better than
A girl with talent, drive, ambition, all of them things above
She's showin' in abundance, I ain't even met her yet
She works around the corner but lives just outside of London
I ain't frontin', I'm a sweet boy, intentions are in question
So my compliments are decoys if that even makes sense
The first time I met her, I'm surrounded by my friends
Random ends on some staircase, so much for a first date
I just had a show and I asked if she could meet me after
Maybe we could chill, you never know where things could go
No problem, she down to roll, travelled in the cold
So I went across the road, grey hoodie under her coat
If I'm rememberin' correctly, it's always kind of weird when
A person that you were texting's a person that you're obsessed with
I was on her from the jump, I think she was wearin' pumps
Or Vans when I first met her, know it's either either one
She was lookin' so attractive, I barely saw skin
'Cause she was covered like a mattress, man, I think that she's the one
I was stuck for twenty seconds tryna to give the girl a hug
And all my friends are drunk so fuck it, I'm 'bout to kiss her
Any complications, I'm blamin' it on the liquor
Changin' my name on Twitter and blockin' her on my Insta
I saw her skin blush the moment that our lips touched
She pulled my bottom lip until it stretched
Kissed me on my cheek until she reached around my neck
And had me moanin' like a bitch, even though I'm wearin' jeans
I had to re-arrange my dick so she don't see that I'm erect
It's the first time we met, got me feelin' like a creep
And that strawberry flavour gave her tongue a kinda sweet little taste
And we could speak about anything we were friends first
I dropped her to the station, I remember
'Cause we had a conversation for ages about our dreams
And the things that we hadn't seen and all that we intended to do
I bet she's hopin' my intentions are true
And as months went by we both got into it
And intimate
And I'ma spare you the details 'cause both of our parents are probably listenin'
But really we were into it, into us, into this
Into everything about each other, we were lovers
And I love her 'cause she knows me and that's probably why she told me
You ain't ready for a girl, you're still a little kid that's
Gettin' ready for the world and you don't need that kinda burden
But I told her that I want it and I'm just being honest
Yes, I know that girls exist but I don't see them as a problem
I meant every single word and I ain't gonna lie and say
DM's have been absurd but out of every single girl
This is the weirdest of positions, it's usually the girl
That's askin' where I see her fittin' or a place on her position
But I'm tellin' her I need it and I don't think she sees it
So I'm being even sweeter when we're speakin' and we're meetin'
I've got affectionate messages, you could read them
You gotta tell a girl that she's beautiful till she sees it
Believes it, understands it more than physically
Mentally, and the way that I'm feelin'
I could talk for ten years about the moments that we shared
The jokes that we had runnin', the places that we been
The music we made together, producin' next to my bed
Then makin' my minor changes in reference to what she said
I think I started gettin' tired, my schedule's a mess
Replies are gettin' lazy and my lady knows it's crazy
But she's there if I'm in need while I'm at shows gettin' tempted
By girls that are on their knees, you know I'm only a teen
It's like my eyes started driftin', not as easy as I pictured
To give your all to a woman, ignorin' all this attention
That's been gettin' to my head, the sex is so accessible
One message or text and girls will get in your bed
She's tryna make it happen with photos at her events
I mention it's her passion, photography is her thing
And I don't know if it's the pressure where paper meets the passion
And the pleasure, we all gotta work to survive
So now she's popping up at shows, takin' pictures on her own
And at first, it wasn't cool but, fuck it, we'll let it go
Until I saw her in some rapper's tracksuit, I felt a way
She told me it was work and she was in some studio
Takin' pictures and I just sighed, some halfway-wannabe
Rappers had fed her lies, they ain't lookin' for no picture
I know it's your profession but read their intentions
They ain't payin' male photographers to shoot that same session
And I felt so disrespectful, standin' on her dreams
And crushin' 'em, I just told her it's nothing, do what you need to do
If I ain't feedin' you then my opinion's
All I'm givin' when I speak to you 'cause I don't have the right
Why should girls be punished for a male's dirty mind?
When I think about it now, I'm ashamed to the core
I mean how many men stop their women from achievin'
What they can because in secret they been feelin' insecure?
And I can't handle my emotions, it's probably why I didn't see her
Talent when I should've been supportin' and promotin'
Like I didn't have a platform, a voice and a followin'
With everyone I knew, I really coulda done a lot of things
To help chase her dream but instead of me to grow
Into the person that she needs, I acted like I couldn't see
And I don't mean to say this like I don't trust the girl
But how can I trust her if I don't trust myself?
And even girls can get tempted, you know how it goes
What if she meets a bigger rapper when she's at a show?
What if he sees her backstage? What if he's sellin' lots?
What if he's got a bigger car? Got a better watch?
That doesn't bother me, she really ain't material
It's all the little things they do that put the fear in you
What if he actually replies? What if he phones her too?
What if he's doin' all the things that I'm supposed to do?
What if he's listenin', laughin', relatin'?
What if he even cares to ask her how her day's been?
What if he's tryna give her everything she needs
And expects from the one damn person that she's datin'?
I shoulda helped her follow her dream
But instead, I held her back and had her followin' me
And boy's got a brave face so they'll never know
That it hurts just as much when you let them go