Housemate Troubles

I faxed attorneys
My housemates that smoke crack and practice taxidermy
Didn't lack tact like the sackhole with the wack black leather German backpack and stack of paisley T-shirts
The worst besides bombing civilians is being a lazy teacher
It's hard to embellish on how hellishly selfish the nemesis is
He drove the great housemate Kate off the premiseses
"You're the biggest a-hole in the world!" "You're crazy!" We're both right
Your mom was nice on the phone
What happened to you? I'd like to crap in your brew
A 12-pack of swill and when you're nappin' ooh-ooh
I'll set fire to your bed, let the flames shave your head
For the things to Caitlyn you said
I'd leave you for dead if I could get away with it
You even taped up the kitty door so no one could play with it
You did the same thing to Linden
To whom I served din-din
I wish you were going to the hell we've been in but it doesn't exist
And there's no god either
No real mortal leader
I need a breather!

I don't need to be subtle to leave you befuddled
Cause you're too lazy to write a rebuttal
Can't finish grad school think that's cool but it's sad
If I wanted to watch football I'd live with my dad
I make rap masterpieces
You can't complete your crap Masters thesis? (Loser)
Just count calories and manufacture allergies
You make 5 times our salaries but you're late with the rent
On time with the cable
You watch Friends while we are friends
All you're giving this house is crumbs on the table
From a Food Not Bombs bagel
Won't lend your books but there's dust on your Hegel
I nearly puked when you showed up to U.S. Maple
Think you're a Chapel Hill staple?
Think you're subletting through April?
We're getting you off the lease while you are gone cause
You're a bigger a-hole than I'm considered my my label

Look, when I'm being a pompous bastard
My friends love me enough to bring me back down to their planet
And so, this is a real stretch to say to you because I don't love you like, you know, they love me
But you're making sure that nobody loves you, you're alienating everybody!
So just beware, or you'll be alone

You're a bee-itch. I hate you. Meow