Hotel Hell

Gimme a 1
And gimme a 2
Gimme a 3

Thursday is payday so I thought I'd have some fun
Go down to the hotel and find me some action
They say that's where it happens
They say that's where it's at
But when I paid the doorman I knew I'd smelt a rat
The band playing in the corner may be Clapton, Beck or Jimi
No one seemed to care much, someone said it sounded tinny
Well, so much for the good time, then the rat began to smell
I knew I'd hit the middle of Hotel Hell

I headed for the men's room feeling like a long lost pup
But it was overcrowded with guys all throwing up
So I crossed my legs and went back to the bar
Someone tapped my shoulder
"Hey, they just ripped off your car"
So much for the good time, so much for the fun
So much for my Chevy, I shoulda brought my gun

Hotel, Hotel Hell
Stand aside, everybody, I'm gonna rebel
Hotel, Hotel Hell
If you think the beer is rotten you should see the clientele

When I got back you know my car had been smashed
I went back inside to get my paycheck cashed
Some girl came up to me and said
"How about a chat"
Like to read some poetry or maybe paint my flat
She said, I like your body, but gee, I hate your face
When it gets dark enough come over to my place
So much for the good time, see you later, Jezebel
Show me to the door, I got to leave this Hotel Hell

I saw Frankenstein, Gargantua and Eskimo Nell
Down at this place they call Hotel Hell
Someone stole my trousers and tore off my lapel
At this place out in the suburbs called Hotel Hell

When Thursday comes around you know I'm staying home
Yes, I've learnt my lesson, there's no way I'm gonna roam
From my room above the laundromat on the dirty side of town
When the fridge is always full and the beer's not watered down
Where they never lock their cars or punch each other's heads
Or spike your drinks with mandies or try to sell you reds
Where Clapton, Beck and Jimi are jamming in the sun
And the girls are very friendly, I think I'll get me one
You know I've had a good time drinking my moselle
Forget about this place they call Hotel Hell

Hotel, Hotel Hell
Bad place to visit and a rotten place to dwell
Hotel, Hotel Hell
Ain't nothing like it, there ain't no parallel
Hotel, Hotel Hell
Stand aside, everybody, I'm gonna rebel
Hotel, Hotel Hell
Goddammit, check the clientele
Hotel, Hotel Hell
Hotel, Hotel Hell
Hotel, Hotel Hell
Hotel, Hotel Hell