​hotel hangover

[Verse 1]
In my bed, I'm hearing screaming again
'Nother argument 'bout how my daddy's fiending again
White lies hiding white lines, now my momma come crying
Pops steps out into the night, prolly to get high
And I'm two years old, I didn't get it much
Mom fending for herself, sitting on the bus
Go to work with people who don't give a care about her
Come home to a husband who don't care about her
That's why I say I don't care about him anyway
You yelling at my mama, I'ma yell at you to get away, hey
I don't need this, how come no one seen this?
There ain't no apologies, all of this unneeded

[Verse 2]
You tryna front on my mama, curse on my mama
Hurt on my mama, I hurt for you mama
I was eighteen when I heard 'bout this drama
Made me put talking with dad as a comma
I pause, didn't understand how he could have them razor claws
Sitting there in awe, man, you
Told me that he missed my birthday to sniff
Left you alone with two jobs and a kid
Coke and the bottle, rolled up for the weed
Had an addiction, the drugs that he need, uh
He got violent, you gon' cry again
How the cycle went, that ain't all
One night the yelling got to be too much for both my parents
Time was slowing down, the apathy was too apparent
Clock stopped, he pulled a gun on my mom
It's real life, there's no crowd, no applause

[Bridge]
My father changed for the better, that's all I really know
But that doesn't change the way that I been feeling though
So selfish, like I can't move from the past
So selfish, like that man isn't my dad
Sometimes I wish that he would call me first, but I'm just wishing
Sometimes I wish my faith would ever work, 'cause I'm a Christian
I don't know, I guess that

[Outro]
I just want a better life than everyone said I could have
I got problems and I can't just pin 'em all onto my dad
I ain't dad, I ain't mom, ain't my uncles, ain't my aunts
Ain't my problems, ain't my fault
Ain't the rise, ain't the fall
I'm me, I got issues that I'm working through all day
I can't medicate with liquor, gotta find another way
See, my father was a troubled man, but then he found his peace
I believe in the Son of God, but He's too far from me
I'm hungover every night, I'm not drinking, I'm just thinking
If I made the wrong decision, if this life that I've been living
Is the life that's meant for me, and sometimes it's hard to breathe
No horizon I could see, when I'm thrashing in the sea
When I'm dragged into the deep, I won't struggle
Not too long until I check into the Hotel Hangover
And I sleep, and I sleep