Holdin Me Back

First love. Young and naive with his first love
Made me forget where the hurt was
What a beauty that bloomed on the surface
But when you dig that dirt up
Bound to find a hole
What it seem ain't so
How you finna hold me down, if we can’t take hold?
Tryna rush to be a man
Til a man can’t grow
I was 9 years old
You was all I know
You built me up on some empty satisfaction
Shit so good, I can find nothin to match it
Guess it’d be different if this lasted more than moments
But it doesn’t so I’m hurting when I’m lonely
Stuck on my relationship wichu
That I’m not with myself
I’m broken, weak, and too ashamed to get some help
Been a long time comin
Look at all we been through
Now it’s done but I don’t feel too sentimental

Cause me and you live on a slippery slope
Sought peace from the high, now I’m hittin a low
Tryna throw myself past the tip of my toes
And I would fall to my death if I could let you go

You been holdin me back, holding me back
You keep on holding me back
Can’t have you holding me, holding me back

Artificial love, hard to give it up
Governed by an instinct from a heart that I don’t trust
Ain’t a part of me that doesn’t feel the harshness of your touch
There’s a darkness here that wasn’t there inside of me
Wish I could free my mind from what you told me
Made me feel like I needed you
Called my strength into question;
Anything I want, can’t see it through
Got me like what would Jesus do?
Shit, he was a man like me and you
‘Know he was tempted by the lure of the flesh
Only if he could see the view
Cause this right here unbeatable
Shit so good infeasble
Seein you prolly kin to the feel of how that boy from a needle ooze
Guess that make me a fiend, a fool
Guess you could get anything abused
Think I see how bein stuck in self made ruts ‘good fuel for a singin dude
From a generation seeking validation;
The effects of us growing up too fast
Some from ig’nance, some neglect
Wonder if I woulda learned if my father wouldna left
Found my manhood in a woman that I barely even met

Cause me and you live on a slippery slope
Sought peace from the high, now I’m hittin a low
Tryna throw myself past the tip of my toes
And I would fall to my death if I could let you go

You been holdin me back, holding me back
You keep on holding me back
Can’t have you holding me, holding me back