Hold the Ashes

[Verse One: Kayncee]

Living this life how it is ain't what we all wanted
We all need a remote allowing us to pause, rewind, skip and stop this
We all want a sanctuary allowing us to get away from this constant
Cycle that's repeating everyday we need knowledge on how to escape this nonsense
Wake up in the morning too early to function well
Hate school for the whole day feeling like I'm trapped in a dungeon cell
Asking myself what I could've done to deserve this fucking hell
Get home so pissed off I wanna let out a sudden yell
This lonely road, I hate it, I can't stand it anymore
Feeling I'm roaming cold naked, not something I was ready for
Solely cope waiting for a day away from this messy war
Slowly erodes my soul, heart racing, hope I'm dead before I'm twenty four

[Hook: Ben Nichols]

In my hands
I hold the ashes
In my veins
Black pitch drums

[Verse Two: Kayncee]

I dunno where I'm going, what I'm doing or feeling
I'm lost, aimlessly wondering, drifting, searching for meaning
And even if I found it, what would I do with it
Life would repeat and any good I'd be losing it
Maybe this is who I am, this is who I'm meant to be
Maybe I'm supposed to be a fuck up, another mess to see
Lost himself to his head, what a fucking tragedy
Now his life consists of failed attempts, red lines and constant agony
Maybe getting better is just a fairy tale, a fantasy
And he's meant to live unhappily, losing his sanity angrily
But that reality ain't something that I ever want for me
And actually I wanna live my life like everyone else, not as an anomaly

[Hook: Ben Nichols]

In my hands
I hold the ashes
In my veins
Black pitch drums

[Verse Three: Kayncee]

So if you were to take black and white and mix them together
You'd get grey but getting white or black back won't happen ever
That's like a person who's fought the long war with depression
Even if they win, the old them is gone without a question
Everything changes as soon as the darkness touches their minds
And suddenly when you ask how they're doing, it doesn't matter, they're fine
They're changed forever, tainted with what they experienced
The pain you'll never forget her even if you're high and delirious
The demons stay by your door, I'm not kidding I'm serious
There's nothing you can do whatsoever but deal with it
So in the palm of my hand I hold the ashes of my life
With darkness coursing through my veins, tryna survive the madness of this wild ride

[Hook: Ben Nichols]

In my hands
I hold the ashes
In my veins
Black pitch drums