Hoist up the Thing
The Longest Johns * Track #1 On Cures What Ails Ya
Download "Hoist up the Thing"
Album Cures What Ails Ya
- #1Hoist up the Thing
The Longest Johns
- #2Bonny Ship the Diamond
The Longest Johns
- #3Four Hours
The Longest Johns
- #4Fire & Flame
The Longest Johns
- #5Round the Cape
The Longest Johns
- #6Ashes
The Longest Johns
- #7The Last Bristolian Pirate
The Longest Johns
- #8Oak & Ash & Thorn
The Longest Johns
- #9The Banks of the Lee
The Longest Johns
- #10Moby Duck
The Longest Johns
- #11Got No Beard
The Longest Johns
- #12Here’s a Health to the Company
The Longest Johns
Hoist up the Thing by The Longest Johns
Release Date
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The Longest JohnsAbout
The 1st track on the 2020 album Cures What Ails Ya, Hoist up the Thing is a comedic story of a man posing as a sea captain despite a total lack of experience as a sailor.
Hoist up the Thing Lyrics
Fresh out of college, with grades straight from Hell
I browsed for a trade at which I could excel
An ad for a ship in need of some manning
Men, sails, and purpose, but lacking a captain
What luck, says I, to find such good fortune!
A few white lies later, I ran down the pier
Bought me a coat and a cutlass or two
Jumped on the deck, and I yelled at the crew:
{Chorus}
Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit!
What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it!
Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it!
Trust me, I'm in control!
I can’t sing the shanties, it has to be said
And all of that grog just goes right to my head
Whale meat is gross and I miss a girl’s laugh
Five weeks at sea, even Dave seems a catch!
{Chorus}
Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit!
What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it!
Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it!
Trust me, I'm in control!
We’ve hit icy waters, no land to be seen
The food’s getting low and the beer has gone green
There’s murmurs of discontent under the deck
If I don’t act fast, it could be my neck!
So pull up the charts and those weird gold machines
I see what it says but no clue what it means!
Just pull on some levers and yank on some chains
Feign a bad back 'til we’ve landed again
{Chorus}
Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit!
What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it!
Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it!
Trust me, I'm in control!
Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit!
What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it!
Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it!
Trust me, I'm in control!
Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit!
What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it!
Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it!
Trust me, I'm in control!
Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit!
What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it! (BLOODY HELL!)
Turn hard to port! (This is SHERRY!) Now I've got it! (Screaming)
Trust me, I'm in control! (MUMMY!)
Trust me, I'm in control!
Hoist up the Thing Q&A
Who wrote Hoist up the Thing's ?
Hoist up the Thing was written by The Longest Johns.
When did The Longest Johns release Hoist up the Thing?
The Longest Johns released Hoist up the Thing on Wed Jun 10 2020.